Our Behaviour/Part 4/Chapter 9

MANY sensible people have resolved to abjure mourning garments altogether; nevertheless, as there are a still larger number who adopt it in a greater or less degree when they are bereaved of their friends, it may be well to recount the established rules in regard to it.

Deep mourning requires the heaviest black of serge, bombazine, lustreless alpaca, de laine, merino or similar heavy clinging material, with collar and cuffs of crape. A widow wears a bonnet-cap of white tarletan, known as the "widow's cap."

Mourning garments are made in the severest simplicity. They should have little or no trimming; no flounces, ruffles or bows are allowable. If the dress is not made en suite, then a long or square shawl of barege or cashmere with crape border is worn.

The bonnet is of black crape; a hat is inadmissible. The veil is of crape or berege with heavy border. Black gloves and black-bordered handkerchief.

In winter dark furs may be worn with the deepest ​mourning. Jewelry is strictly forbidden, and all pins, buckles, etc., must be of jet.

Lustreless alpaca may be worn in second mourning, with white collar and cuffs. The crape veil is laid aside for net or tulle, but the jet jewelry is still retained.

A still less degree of mourning is indicated by black and white, purple and gray, or a combination of these colors. Crape is still retained in bonnet trimming, and crape flowers may be added.

Light gray, white and black, and light shades of lilac indicate a slight mourning. Black lace bonnet with white or violet flowers supersedes crape, and jet and gold jewelry is worn.

It is poor economy to buy cheap and flimsy materials for mourning. Only the best black goods wear well without becoming rusty and shabby. Foulards make serviceable half-mourning dresses, either as wrappers or walking-suits.

The following are the rules laid down by authority competent to speak on these matters regarding the proper degree of mourning and length of time it should be worn:

"The deepest mourning is that worn by a widow for her husband. It is worn for two years, sometimes longer. Widow's mourning for the first year consists ​of solid black woolen goods, collar and cuffs of folded, untrimmed crape, a simple crape bonnet and a long, thick, black crape veil. The second year, silk trimmed with crape, black lace collar and cuffs, and a shorter veil may be worn, and in the last six months gray, violet and white are permitted. A widow should wear the hair perfectly plain if she does not wear a cap, and should always wear a bonnet, never a hat.

"The mourning for a father or mother is worn for one year. The first six months the proper dress is of solid black woolen goods trimmed with crape, black crape bonnet with black crape facings and black strings, black crape veil, collar and cuffs of black crape. Three months, black silk with crape trimming, white or black lace collar and cuffs, veil of tulle and white bonnet-facings; and the last three months in gray, purple and violet.

"Mourning worn for a child is the same as that worn for a parent.

"Mourning for a grandparent is worn for six months: three months, black woolen goods, white collar and cuffs, short crape veil and bonnet of crape trimmed with black silk or ribbon; six weeks in black silk trimmed with crape, lace collar and cuffs, short tulle veil; and six weeks in gray, purple, white and violet.

"Mourning worn for a friend who leaves you an inheritance is the same as that worn for a grandparent.

​"Mourning for a brother or sister is worn six months two months in solid black trimmed with crape, white linen collar and cuffs, bonnet of black with white facing and black strings; two months in black silk, with white lace collar and cuffs; and two months in gray, purple, white and violet.

"Mourning for an uncle or aunt is worn for three months, and is the second mourning named above, tulle, white linen and white bonnet-facings being worn at once. For a nephew or niece, the same is worn for the same length of time.

"The deepest mourning excludes kid gloves; they should be of cloth, silk or thread; and no jewelry is permitted during the first month of close mourning. Embroidery, jet trimmings, puffs, plaits—in fact, trimming of any kind—is forbidden in deep mourning, but worn when it is lightened.

"Mourning handkerchiefs should be of very sheer fine linen, with a border of black, very wide for close mourning, narrower as the black is lightened.

"Mourning silks should be perfectly lustreless, and the ribbons worn without any gloss.

"Ladies invited to funeral ceremonies should always wear a black dress, even if they are not in mourning; and it is bad taste to appear with a gay bonnet or shawl, as if for a festive occasion.

"The mourning for children under twelve years of age is white in summer and gray in winter, with black trimmings, belt, sleeve-ruffles and bonnet-ribbons."