Our Behaviour/Part 3/Chapter 3

WHEN the news of the birth of a child is given to the world, the lady friends of the mother send her their cards and kind inquiries after her health. As soon as convalescence permits the invalid returns her own, with "thanks for kind inquiries." Then ladies may make personal visits. Gentlemen should not call upon the mother on these occasions, but they may, if they choose, pay their visits to the father and inquire after the health of his wife and child.

The matter which most concerns the parents at this period is the giving of a name to their offspring. This is of no small importance, for it is something which will more or less affect the child throughout its life.

In Scotland the first son is usually named after the father's father, the first daughter after the mother's mother, the second son after the father, the second daughter after the mother, and the succeeding children after near relations. It is an excellent plan to ​perpetuate family names when these names are worthy of perpetuation. There are cases, however, when it would be well to avoid this plan, as, for instance, when the relative whose name is under consideration has in any way disgraced that name, when the name itself is an ugly one, or when it is too common. Thus no man by the name of Smith is justified in calling his son John, though all the paternal Smiths to the remotest generation may have borne that name.

Another prevalent custom in naming children is to call them after some renowned person either living or dead. The objection to this plan is that if living the person may be capable of yet committing some act to disgrace the name, or at least to put its present admirer out of conceit of it; and if dead, the child upon whom it is bestowed may prove so insignificant a character that the name shall be a constant reproach or satire.

If there are reasons against the use of family names, the plan of renewing the old Saxon names is an excellent one, and by its adoption our list of names is much enlarged. Such names as Edwin, Edgar, Alfred, Ethel, Maud, Edith, Theresa, Arthur and others, found in old Saxon chronicles, are pleasant-sounding and strong—a desirable contrast to the Fannies, Mamies, Minnies, Lizzies, Nellies, Sadies and other namby-pamby diminutives, that have, it would seem, completely supplanted their originals.

The christening and the baptism usually occur at the same time, and are regulated according to the practices of the special Church to which the parents give their adherence. It is not the province of this book to give directions concerning the religious ceremonies, but only to indicate the forms and customs which society imposes at such times.

In the Episcopal Church there are two, and sometimes three, godparents or sponsors. If the child is a boy, there are two godfathers and one godmother If a girl, two godmothers and one godfather. The persons selected for godparents should be near relatives or friends of long and close standing, and should be members of the same Church into which the child is baptized.

The maternal grandmother and paternal grandfather usually act as sponsors for the first child, the maternal grandfather and paternal grandmother for the second.

A person invited to act as godparent should not refuse without good reason.

If the grandparents are not selected, it is an act of courtesy to select the godmother, and allow her to designate the godfather.

Young persons should not stand sponsors to an infant, and none should offer to act unless their superior position warrants them in so doing.

The sponsors must make their godchild a present of some sort—a silver mug, a knife, spoon and fork, a handsomely-bound Bible, or, perhaps, a costly piece of lace or embroidery suitable for infants' wear. The godfather may give a cup, with name engraved, and the godmother the christening robe and cap.

Upon entering the church the babe is carried first in the arms of its nurse. Next come the sponsors, and after them the father and the mother, if she is able to be present. The invited guests follow.

In taking their places the sponsors stand, the godfather on the right and the godmother on the left of the child.

When the question is asked, Who are the sponsors for the child? the proper persons should merely bow their heads, without speaking.

In the Roman Catholic Church baptism takes place at as early a date as possible. If the child does not seem to be strong, a priest is sent for at once, and the ceremony is performed at the mother's bedside. If, on the other hand, the child is healthy, it is taken to the church within a few days after its birth. In Protestant churches the ceremony of baptism is usually deferred until the mother is able to be present.

If the ceremony is performed at home, a carriage ​must be sent for the clergyman, and retained to convey him back again after the ceremony is concluded.

A luncheon or dejeuner a la fourchette may follow the christening, though a collation of cake and wine will fill all the requirements of etiquette. It is the duty of the godfather to propose the health of the infant.

Friends invited to a christening should remember the babe in whose honor they convene by some trifling gift. Gentlemen may present an article of silver, ladies something of their own manufacture.

It should be remembered that the baby is the person of the greatest importance on these occasions, and the guests should give it a large share of attention and praise. The parents, however, must not make this duty too onerous to their guests by keeping a tired, fretful child on exhibition. It is better to send it at once to the care of the nurse as soon as the ceremony is over.

Though the church performs the ceremony of baptism gratuitously, the parents should, if they ​are able, make a present to the officiating clergyman, or, through him, a donation to the poor of the neighborhood. The father of the child should also remember the nurse who carries the child to church.