Our Behaviour/Part 3/Chapter 2

THE celebration of anniversaries of the wedding-day is a very pleasant custom which is coming gradually into favor. Special anniversaries are designated by special names, indicative of the presents suitable on each occasion.

Thus, the first anniversary is called the paper wedding. The invitations to this wedding should be issued on a gray paper, representing thin cardboard.

Presents from the guests are appropriate, but by no means obligatory. These presents, if given, should be solely of articles made of paper. Thus, books, boxes of note-paper and envelopes, sheets of music, engravings and delicate knickknacks of papier maché will be provided for this occasion.

The wooden wedding is the fifth anniversary of the marriage. The invitations for this wedding, if it is desired to make them appropriate to the occa​sion, should be upon thin cards of wood. Or they may be written on a sheet of wedding note-paper, and a card of wood enclosed in the envelope.

The presents suitable to this occasion are most numerous, and may range from a wooden paper- knife or trifling article for kitchen use up to a com- plete set of parlor or chamber furniture.

The tenth anniversary of the marriage is called the tin wedding. The invitations for this anniver- sary may be made upon cards covered with tin-foil, or upon the ordinary wedding note-paper, with a tin card enclosed.

The guests, if they desire to accompany their congratulations with appropriate presents, have the whole list of articles manufactured by the tinner's art from which to select.

Next comes the crystal wedding, on the fifteenth anniversary. Invitations to this wedding may be on thin transparent paper, on colored sheets of pre- pared gelatine or on ordinary wedding note-paper, enclosing a sheet of mica.

The guests will make their offerings to their host and hostess of trifles of glass, which may be more or less valuable, as the donor feels inclined.

The china wedding occurs on the twentieth anniversary of the wedding-day. Invitations to this anniversary wedding should be issued on exceedingly fine, semi-transparent note-paper or cards.

Various articles for the dining- or tea-table or for the toilet-stand, vases or mantel ornaments, all are appropriate on this occasion.

The silver wedding occurs on the twenty-fifth marriage anniversary. The invitations issued for this wedding should be upon the finest note-paper, printed in bright silver, with monogram or crest upon both paper and envelope, in silver also.

If presents are offered by any of the guests, they should be of silver, and may be the merest trifles or more expensive, as the means and inclinations of the donors incline.

The close of the fiftieth year of married life brings round the appropriate time for the golden wedding. Fifty years of married happiness may indeed be crowned with gold.

The invitations for this anniversary celebration should be printed on the finest note-paper in gold, with crest or monogram on both paper and envelope in highly-burnished gold. The presents, if any are offered, are also in gold.

Few indeed may celebrate their diamond wedding. This should be held on the seventy-fifth anniversary of the marriage-day. So rare are these occurrences that custom has sanctioned no particular style or form to be observed in the invitations. These invitations might be issued upon diamond-shaped cards, enclosed in envelopes of a corresponding shape. There can be no general offering of presents at such a wedding, since diamonds in any number are beyond the means of most persons.

It is not at all required that an invitation to an anniversary wedding be acknowledged by a valuable gift, or indeed by any. The donors on such occasions are usually only members of the family or intimate friends.

On the occasion of golden or silver weddings it is not amiss to have printed at the bottom of the invitation the words "No presents," or to enclose a card announcing—

"It is preferred that no wedding-gifts be offered."

It is not amiss, though not at all obligatory, at the earlier anniversaries to present trifles in paper, wood, tin, glass or china, which, if well chosen, often add to the amusement and sociability of the evening.

The invitations to anniversary weddings may vary ​somewhat in their wordings, according to the fancy of the writer, but they are all similar. They should give the date of the marriage and the anniversary. They may or may not give the name of the husband at the right-hand side and the maiden name of the wife at the left. What the anniversary is should also be indicated.

The following form will serve as a model:

A variation of the dates and an insertion, in the place of the word "silver," of "paper," "wooden," "tin," "crystal," "china," "golden" or "diamond," will make this form equally suitable for any of the other anniversary weddings.

It is not unusual to have the marriage ceremony repeated at these anniversary weddings, especially at the silver or golden wedding. The earlier anniversaries are almost too trivial occasions upon which to introduce this ceremony, especially as the parties ​may not yet have had sufficient time to discover whether an application to the divorce court may not yet be thought necessary by one or the other. But there is a certain impressiveness in seeing a husband and wife who have remained faithful to each other for a quarter or half a century publicly renewing their vows of fidelity and love, which then can only mean "till death us do part." The clergyman who officiates at this ceremony will of course so change the exact words of the marriage ceremony as to render them perfectly appropriate to the occasion.