Our Behaviour/Part 1/Chapter 15

THERE are certain special regulations concerning visiting-cards which it is desirable that every one should know.

There is no invariable fashion as to their size and shape. At one time they may be long, narrow, small and glazed; at another large, square and unglazed. But one thing good breeding insists upon, and that is that they must always be plain. There must be no stamped ornamentation, no device or flourish of writing, and no printed or engraved border. The name in the centre, with the residence at the left-hand corner, is all that is needed.

There should be no special parade of titles, though M. D. may follow a physician's name, and an army or navy officer may use his title if he chooses. Whether he uses or omits it, U. S. A. should follow underneath the name, a little to the right.

Cards should be engraved in plain Italian script, not printed, and by all means never written. People ​do not care, as a general thing, to collect the autographs of ordinary friends and acquaintances.

No person of taste will display his or her photograph upon a carte de visite.

Black-bordered cards are for persons in mourning.

In visiting a strange city a person may draw a pencil line under his proper address and add his temporary address in writing in the right-hand corner.

Young ladies may have cards separate from their mother's, or have their name added to and underneath their mother's on the latter's cards.

Turning down the corner of a visiting-card indicates that the visit was intended for two or more members of the family.

P. P. C. [pour prendre congé], written in the righthand corner, indicates a farewell visit.

Gentlemen sending flowers or other presents to ladies should always attach a card bearing the lady's name, and over it write their own name, with the preface, "with compliments of ———."

Christmas gifts should be marked with the card of the giver.

Borrowed books or music when returned should be accompanied with the card of the borrower.

The visiting-card of a married lady usually gives her husband's name with the prefix "Mrs." attached. Thus: "Mrs. David Evans," instead of "Mrs. Emma G. Evans," though custom is beginning to sanction the latter when the lady has sufficient personal importance to be known separate from her husband. A lady in that case frequently gives her maiden name in full, thus: "Mrs. Emma Gates Evans."

A lady in adopting her husband's name cannot use his title also. Dr. John Brown's wife is not Mrs. Dr. John Brown, or even Mrs. John Brown, M.D., but plain Mrs. John Brown. The wife of a Congressman is not a Mrs. Hon. or an Hon. Mrs., nor is the wife of a clergyman a Mrs. Rev.

A birth, marriage or death in the family of a friend or acquaintance calls for a card within a week.

A visiting-card must bear the place of residence, and not the business address.

Unmarried ladies may prefix Miss to their names or not, as they choose. Married ladies should always prefix Mrs. Gentlemen may use Mr. or omit it, at their option.

A husband's and wife's card may be united thus: "Mr. and Mrs. George Nelson."