Translation:French Barbarity

There are guys who are proud to be French. Well, not me, goddammit! When I see the crimes that we, the common folk of France, let those filthy capitalists and scheming rulers commit — honestly, it kills any pride I might have!

Take Tonkin, for instance, that damned country we're smoking out with the corpses of our poor unlucky lads — what’s going on there is pure horror.

Everyone knows the French went over there to civilize the Tonkinese: those poor folks would've done just fine without our visit! Truth is, we went there so a few fat financial crooks could rake in millions, and so Constans could swipe King Norodom's belt.

Ah, goddammit, what a swell system the French have come up with to civilize people who never came looking for trouble with us in the first place!

First off, we loot and snatch everything we can; second, we set fires left and right; third, we force ourselves on a good number of Tonkinese gals — always in the name of civilizing these barbaric people, who in many ways could probably teach us a thing or two.

That was back in the early days, when we'd just invaded the country; — it’s all different now, hellfire, everything's pacified and the French act as gentle as rabid dogs.

To prove it, let me tell you about the execution of Doi Van, a pirate chief who had once surrendered to France, then took up arms again against his homeland, leading rebel troops.

No need to spell out that gobbledygook, right mates? You get it, don't you? The pirates, the rebels — they're just decent folks who don't want the French bastards settling in their land like crooks; they didn't start the violence, they're just hitting back after getting smacked down.

So, Doi Van got caught again, and they decided on the spot to chop off his head. But instead of doing it quick, the bastards in charge dragged it out. Goddammit, it was horrible! They played with Doi Van like a cat plays with a mouse.

Once he was sentenced to death, they stuck an iron collar around his neck, then locked him up in a big wooden cage where he couldn't move an inch. On the cage they slapped a sign:

Vuon-Vang-Yan, traitor and oath-breaker. Then eight soldiers picked up the cage and paraded it through the streets of Hanoi. At the most visible spot, they'd built a platform — that's where they chopped off Doi Van's head with a saber, after all kinds of disgusting theatrics.

The executioner's helper grabbed Doi Van by the hair, the saber came down like lightning, the head stayed in his hands — he held it up to the crowd and rolled it onto the ground. They picked it up again to stick it on the end of a pike, to set an example for the rebels.

Ah, goddammit, that's rich! You phony-ass republicans, filthy fat cats, two-faced hack journalists — all of you who chew up the people worse than vermin and dull their minds with lies — you gonna come preach to us again about your so-called spirit of humanity?

You threw a hell of a party for the centennial of '89 — and the finest one, the one that really shows what scum you are, was the execution of Doi Van. That head? It didn't belong on a pike in some Tonkinese village out in the back end of Asia. It should've been planted somewhere a hell of a lot closer to home.

Hell no! That head should've been stuck right on top of the Eiffel Tower, so that towering 300 meters above your crimes, it could scream to the whole damn world that beneath your republican varnish lies nothing but filth-covered barbarity.

Who the hell are you, where do you come from, you filthy little men — you weren't born yesterday! I saw your ugly mugs eighteen years ago, and you haven't changed a bit: you're still Versaillais! The tiger-cat cruelty you used to torture the Communeux — now you're using it to screw over the Tonkinese.

And you come at us whining about the Prussians, stolen clocks, burned villages? — The Prussians fought like soldiers, not savages. They didn't commit, goddammit, even a hundredth of the atrocities you lot did, you evil Versaillais!

Ah, so you haven’t changed? Neither have we: Versaillais you are — Communeux we remain!