The Roaring Girle/Act 4 Scene 2
Enter Mistresse Gallipot, and Mistresse Openworke.
Mi. Gal.Is then that bird of yours (Maister Goshawke) so wild?
Mist. Open.A Goshawke, a Puttocke; all for prey: he angles for fish, but he loues flesh better.
Mist. Gal.Is't possible his smoth face should haue wrinckles in't, and we not see them?
Mist. Open.Possible? why haue not many handsome legges in silke stockins villanous splay feete for all their great roses?
Mist. Gal.Troth sirra thou saist true.
Mist. Op.Didst neuer see an archer (as tho'ast walkt by Bunhill) looke a squint when he drew his bow?
Mist. Gal.Yes, when his arrowes haue flin'e toward Islington, his eyes haue shot cleane contrary towards Pimlico.
Mist. Open.For all the world so does Maister Goshawke double with me.
Mist. Gal.Oh fie vpon him, if he double once he's not for me.
Mist. Open.Because Goshawke goes in a shag-ruffe band, with a face sticking vp in't, which showes like an agget set in a crampe ring, he thinkes I'me in loue with him.
Mist. Gal.'Las I thinke he takes his marke amisse in thee.
Mist. Open.He has by often beating into me made mee beleeue that my husband kept a whore.
Mist. Gal.Very good.
Mist. Open.Swore to me that my husband this very morning went in a boate with a tilt ouer it, to the three pidgions at Brainford, and his puncke with him vnder his tilt.
Mist. Gal.That were wholesome.
Mist. Open.I beleeu'd it, fell a swearing at him, curssing of harlots, made me ready to hoyse vp saile, and be there as soone as hee.
Mist. Gal.So, so.
Mist. Open.And for that voyage Goshawke comes hither incontinently, but sirra this water-spaniell diues after no ducke but me, his hope is hauing mee at Braineford to make mee cry quack.
Mist. Gall.Art sure of it?
Mist. Open.Sure of it? my poore innocent Openworke came in as I was poking my ruffe, presently hit I him i'the teeth with the three pidgions: he forswore all, I vp and opened all, and now stands he (in a shop hard by) like a musket on a rest, to hit Goshawke i'the eie, when he comes to fetch me to the boate.
Mist. Gal.Such another lame Gelding offered to carry mee through thicke and thinne, (Laxton sirra) but I am ridd of him now.
Mist. Open.Happy is the woman can bee ridde of 'em all; 'las what are your whisking gallants to our husbands, weigh 'em rightly man for man.
Mist. Gall.Troth meere shallow things.
Mist. Open.Idle simple things, running heads, and yet let 'em run ouer vs neuer so fast, we shop-keepers (when all's done) are sure to haue 'em in our pursnets at length, and when they are in, Lord what simple animalls they are.
Mist. Open.Then they hang head.
Mist. Gal.Then they droupe.
Mist. Open.Then they write letters.
Mist. Gal.Then they cogge.
Mist. Open.Then they deale vnder hand with vs, and wee must ingle with our husbands a bed, and wee must sweare they are our cosens, and able to do vs a pleasure at Court.
Mist. Gal.And yet when wee haue donc our best, al's but put into a riuen dish, wee are but frumpt at and libell'd vpon.
Mist. Open.Oh if it were the good Lords will, there were a law made, no Cittizen should trust any of 'em all.
Enter Goshawke.
Mist. Gal.Hush sirra, Goshawke flutters.
Gosh.How now, are you ready?
Mist. Open.Nay are you ready? a little thing you see makes vs ready.
Gosh.Vs? why, must shee make one i'the voiage?
Mist. Open.Oh by any meanes, do I know how my husband will handle mee?
Gosh.'Foot, how shall I find water, to keepe these two mils going? Well since you'l needs bee clapt vnder hatches, if I sayle not with you both till all split, hang mee vp at the maine yard, & duck mee; it's but lickering them both soundly, & then you shall see their corke heeles flie vp high, like two swannes when their tayles are aboue water, and their long neckes vnder water, diuing to catch gudgions: come, come, oares stand ready, the tyde's with vs, on with those false faces, blow winds and thou shalt take thy husband, casting out his net to catch fresh Salmon at Brainford.
Mist. Gal.I beleeue you'l eate of a coddes head of your owne dressing, before you reach halfe way thither.
Gosh.So, so, follow close, pin as you go.
Enter Laxton muffled.
Lax.Do you heare?
Mist. Gal.Yes, I thanke my eares.
Lax.I must haue a bout with your Poticariship,
Mist. Gal.At what weapon?
Lax.I must speake with you.
Mist. Gal.No.
LaxNo? you shall.
Mist. Gal.Shall? away soust Sturgion, halfe fish, halfe flesh.
Lax.'Faith gib, are you spitting, I'le cut your tayle puscat for this,
Mist. Gal.'Las poore Laxton, I thinke thy tayle's cut already: your worst;
Exit Laxton.Lax.If I do not,———
Enter Maister Openworke.Gosh.Come, ha'you done?
Sfoote Rosamond, your husband.
Sfoote Rosamond, your husband.
Maist. Open.How now? sweete Maist. Goshawke, none more welcome,
I haue wanted your embracements: when friends meete,
The musique of the spheares sounds not more sweete,
Then does their conferenc: who is this? Rosamond:
Wife: how now sister?
I haue wanted your embracements: when friends meete,
The musique of the spheares sounds not more sweete,
Then does their conferenc: who is this? Rosamond:
Wife: how now sister?
Gosh.Silence if you loue mee.
Maist. Open.Why maskt?
Mist. Open.Does a maske grieue you sir?
Maist. Open.It does.
Mist. Open.Then y'are best get you a mumming.
Gosh.S'footeyou'l spoyle all.
Mist. Gall.May not wee couer our bare faces with maskes
As well as you couer your bald heads with hats?
As well as you couer your bald heads with hats?
Ma. Op.No maskes, why, th'are theeues to beauty, that rob eies
Of admiration in which true loue lies,
Why are maskes worne? why good? or why desired?
Vnlesse by their gay couers wits are fiered
To read the vild'st lookes; many bad faces,
(Because rich gemmes are treasured vp in cases)
Passe by their priuiledge currant, but as caues
Dambe misers Gold, so maskes are beauties graues,
Men nere meete women with such muffled eies,
But they curse her, that first did maskes deuise,
And sweare it was somebeldame. Come off with't.
Of admiration in which true loue lies,
Why are maskes worne? why good? or why desired?
Vnlesse by their gay couers wits are fiered
To read the vild'st lookes; many bad faces,
(Because rich gemmes are treasured vp in cases)
Passe by their priuiledge currant, but as caues
Dambe misers Gold, so maskes are beauties graues,
Men nere meete women with such muffled eies,
But they curse her, that first did maskes deuise,
And sweare it was somebeldame. Come off with't.
Mist. Open.I will not.
Maist. Open.Good faces maskt are Iewels kept by spirits.
Hide none but bad ones, for they poyson mens sights,
Show then as shop-keepers do their broidred stuffe,
(By owle light) fine wares cannot be open enough,
Prithee (sweete Rose) come strike this sayle.
Hide none but bad ones, for they poyson mens sights,
Show then as shop-keepers do their broidred stuffe,
(By owle light) fine wares cannot be open enough,
Prithee (sweete Rose) come strike this sayle.
Mist. Open.Saile?
Maist. Op.Ha? yes wife strike saile, for stormes are in thine eyes:
Mist. Open.Th'are here sir in my browes if any rise.
Maist. Open.Ha browes? (what sayes she friend) pray tel me why
Your two flagges were aduaunst; the Comedy,
Come what's the Comedy?
Your two flagges were aduaunst; the Comedy,
Come what's the Comedy?
Mist. Open.Westward hoe.
Maist. Open.How?
Mist. Open.'Tis Westward hoe shee saies.
Gosh.Are you both madde?
Mist. Open.Is't Market day at Braineford, and your ware not sent vp yet?
Maist. Open.What market day? what ware?
Mist. Open.A py with three pidgions in't, 'tis drawne and staies your cutting vp.
Gosh.As you regard my credit.
Maist. Open.Art madde?
Mist. Open.Yes letcherous goate; Baboone.
Maist. Open.Baboone? then tosse mee in a blancket,
Mist. Open.Do I it well?
Mist. Gall.Rarely.
Gosh.Belike sir shee's not well; best leaue her.
Maist. Open.No,
I'le stand the storme now how fierce so ere it blow.
I'le stand the storme now how fierce so ere it blow.
Mist. Open.Did I for this loose all my friends? refuse
Rich hopes, and golden fortunes, to be made
A stale to a common whore?
Rich hopes, and golden fortunes, to be made
A stale to a common whore?
Maist. Open.This does amaze mee.
Mist. Open.Oh God, oh God, feede at reuersion now?
A Strumpets leauing?
A Strumpets leauing?
Maist. Open.Rosamond,
Gosh.I sweate, wo'ld I lay in cold harbour.
Mist. Open.Thou hast struck ten thousand daggers through my heart.
Maist. Open.Not I by heauen sweete wife.
Mist. Open.Go diuel go; that which thou swear'st by, damnes thee
Gosh.S'heart will you vndo mee?
Mist. Open.Why stay you heere? the starre, by which you saile, shines yonder aboue Chelsy; you loose your shore if this moone light you: seeke out your light whore.
Maist. Open.Ha?
Mist. Gal.Push; your Westerne png.
Gosh,Zounds now hell roares.
Mist. Open.
With whom you tilted in a paire of oares, this very morning.
With whom you tilted in a paire of oares, this very morning.
Maist. Open.Oares?
Mist. Open.At Brainford sir.
Maist. Open.Racke not my patieuce: Maister Goshawke, some slaue has buzzed this into her, has he not? I run a tilt in Brainford with a woman? 'tis a lie: What old baud tels thee this? S'death 'tis a lie.
Mist. Open.'Tis one to thy face shall iustify all that I speake.
Maist. Open.Vd'soule do but name that rascall.
Mist. Open.No sir I will not.
Gosh.Keepe thee there girle:—then!
Mist. Open.Sister know you this varlet?
Mist. Gall.Yes.
Maist. Open.Sweare true,
Is there a rogue so low damn'd? a second Iudas? a common hangman? cutting a mans throate? does it to his face? bite mee behind my backe? a cur dog? sweare if you know this hell-hound.
Is there a rogue so low damn'd? a second Iudas? a common hangman? cutting a mans throate? does it to his face? bite mee behind my backe? a cur dog? sweare if you know this hell-hound.
Mist. Gall.In truth I do,
Maist. Open.His name?
Mist. Gall.Not for the world;
To haue you to stab him.
To haue you to stab him.
Gosh.Oh braue girles: worth Gold.
Maist. Open.A word honest maister Goshawke.
Draw out his sword
Draw out his sword
Gosh.What do you meane sir?
Maist. Open.Keepe off, and if the diuell can giue a name to this new fury, holla it throngh my eare, or wrap it vp in some hid character: I'le ride to Oxford, and watch out mine eies, but I'le heare the brazen head speak: or else shew me but one haire of his head or beard, that I may sample it; if the fiend I mect (in myne owne house) I'le kill him:—the streete.
Or at the Church dore:—there—(cause he seekes to vnty
The knot God fastens) he deserues most to dy.
Or at the Church dore:—there—(cause he seekes to vnty
The knot God fastens) he deserues most to dy.
Mist. Open.My husband titles him.
Maist. Open.Maister Goshawke, pray sir
Sweare to me, that you know him or know hiw not,
Who makes me at Brainford to take vp a peticote beside my wiues,
Sweare to me, that you know him or know hiw not,
Who makes me at Brainford to take vp a peticote beside my wiues,
Gosh.By heauen that man I know not.
Mist. Open.Come, come, you lie.
Gosh.Will you not haue all out?
By heauen I know no man beneath the moon
Should do you wrong, but if I had his name,
I'de print it in text letters.
By heauen I know no man beneath the moon
Should do you wrong, but if I had his name,
I'de print it in text letters.
Mist. Open.Print thine owne then,
Did'st not thou sweare to me he kept his whoore?
Did'st not thou sweare to me he kept his whoore?
Mist. Gal.And that in sinfull Brainford they would commit
That which our lips did water at sir,—ha?
That which our lips did water at sir,—ha?
Mist. Open.Thou spider, that hast wouen thy cunning web
In mine owne house t'insnare me: hast not thou
Suck't nourishment euen vnderneath this roofe,
And turned it all to poyson? spittiug it,
On thy friends face (my husband?) he as t'were sleeping:
Onely to leaue him vgly to mine eies,
That they might glance on thee.
In mine owne house t'insnare me: hast not thou
Suck't nourishment euen vnderneath this roofe,
And turned it all to poyson? spittiug it,
On thy friends face (my husband?) he as t'were sleeping:
Onely to leaue him vgly to mine eies,
That they might glance on thee.
Mist. Gal.Speake, are these lies?
Gosh.Mine owne shame me confounds:
Mist. Open.No more, hee's stung;
Who'd thinke that in one body there could dwell
Deformitie and beauty, (heauen and hell)
Goodnesse I see is but outside, wee all set,
In rings of Gold, stones that be counterfet:
I thought you none.
Who'd thinke that in one body there could dwell
Deformitie and beauty, (heauen and hell)
Goodnesse I see is but outside, wee all set,
In rings of Gold, stones that be counterfet:
I thought you none.
Gosh.Pardon mee.
Maist. Open.Truth I doe.
This blemish growes in nature not in you,
For mans creation sticke euen moles in scorne
On fairest cheeks, wife nothing is perfect borne.
This blemish growes in nature not in you,
For mans creation sticke euen moles in scorne
On fairest cheeks, wife nothing is perfect borne.
Mist. Open.I thought you had bene borne perfect.
Maist. Open.What's this whole world but a gilt rotten pill?
For at the heart lies the old chore still.
I'le tell you Maister Goshawke, I in your eie
I haue seene wanton fire, and then to try
The soundnesse of my iudgement, I told you
I kept a whoore, made you beleeue 'twas true,
Onely to feele how your pulse beate, but find,
The world can hardly yeeld a perfect friend.
Come, come, a tricke of youth, and 'tis forgiuen,
This rub put by, our loue shall runne more euen.
For at the heart lies the old chore still.
I'le tell you Maister Goshawke, I in your eie
I haue seene wanton fire, and then to try
The soundnesse of my iudgement, I told you
I kept a whoore, made you beleeue 'twas true,
Onely to feele how your pulse beate, but find,
The world can hardly yeeld a perfect friend.
Come, come, a tricke of youth, and 'tis forgiuen,
This rub put by, our loue shall runne more euen.
Mist. Open,You'l deale vpon mens wiues no more?
Gosh.No:—you teach me a tricke for that.
Mist. Open.Troth do not, they'l o're-reach thee.
Mai. Open.Make my house yours sir still.
Gosh.No.
Maist. Open.I say you shall:
Seeing (thus besieg'd) it holds out, 'twill neuer fall.
Seeing (thus besieg'd) it holds out, 'twill neuer fall.
Enter Maister Gallipot, and Greenewit like a Somner, Laxton muffled a loofe off.
OmnesHow now?
Maist. Gall.With mee sir?
Greene.You sir? I haue gon snaffling vp and downe by your dore this houre to watch for you.
Mist. Gall.What's the matter husband?
Greene.—I haue caught a cold in my head sir, by sitting vp late in the rose tauerne, but I hope you vnderstand my speech.
Maist. Gal.So sir.
Greene.I cite you by the name of Hippocrates Gallipot, and you by the name of Prudence Gallipot, to appeare vpon Crastino, doe you see, Crastino sancti Dunstani (this Easter Tearme) in Bow Church.
Maist. Gall.Where sir? what saies he?
Greene.Bow: Bow Church, to answere to a libel of precontract on the part and behalfe of the said Prudence and another; y'are best sir take a coppy of the citation, 'tis but tweluepence.
OmnesA Citation?
Maist. Gal.You pocky-nosed rascall, what slaue fees you to this?
Lax.Slaue? I ha nothing to do with you, doe you heare sir?
Gosh.Laxton ist not?—what fagary is this?
Maist. Gal.Trust me I thought sir this storme long ago had bene full laid, when (if you be remembred) I paid you the last fifteene pound, besides the thirty you had first,—for then you swore.
Lax.Tush, tush sir, oathes,
Truth yet I'me loth to vexe vou,—tell you what;
Make vp the mony I had an hundred pound,
And take your belly full of her.
Truth yet I'me loth to vexe vou,—tell you what;
Make vp the mony I had an hundred pound,
And take your belly full of her.
Maist. Gall.An hundred pound?
Mist. Gal.What a 100 pound? he gets none: what a 100 pound?
Maist. Gal.Sweet Pru be calme, the Gentleman offers thus,
If I will make the monyes that are past
A 100 pound, he will discharge all courts,
And giue his bond neuer to vexe vs more.
If I will make the monyes that are past
A 100 pound, he will discharge all courts,
And giue his bond neuer to vexe vs more.
Mist. Gal.A 100 pound? 'Las; take sir but threescore,
Do you seeke my vndoing?
Do you seeke my vndoing?
Lax.I'le not bate one sixpence,—I'le mall you pusse for spitting.
Mist. Gal.Do thy worst,
Will fourescore stop thy mouth?
Will fourescore stop thy mouth?
Lax.No.
Mist. Gal.Y'are a slaue,
Thou Cheate, I'le now teare mony from thy throat,
Husband lay hold on yonder tauny-coate.
Thou Cheate, I'le now teare mony from thy throat,
Husband lay hold on yonder tauny-coate.
Greene.Nay Gentlemen, seeing your woemen are so hote, I must loose my haire in their company I see.
Mist. Ope.His haire sheds off, and yet he speaks not so much in the nose as he did before.
Gosh.He has had the better Chirurgion, Maister Greenewit, is your wit so raw as to play no better a part then a Somners?
Maist. Gal.I pray who playes a knacke to know an honest man in this company?
Mist. Gall.Deere husband, pardon me, I did dissemble,
Told thee I was his precontracted wife,
When letters came from him for thirty pound,
I had no shift but that.
Told thee I was his precontracted wife,
When letters came from him for thirty pound,
I had no shift but that.
Maist. Gal.A very cleane shift: but able to make mee lowsy, On.
Mist. Gal.Husband, I pluck'd (when he had tempted mee to thinke well of him) Get fethers from thy wings, to make him flie more lofty.
Maist. Gall.A'the top of you wife: on.
Mist. Gal.He hauing wasted them, comes now for more,
Vsing me as a ruffian doth his whore,
Whose sinne keepes him in breath: by heauen I vow,
Thy bed he neuer wrong'd, more then he does now.
Vsing me as a ruffian doth his whore,
Whose sinne keepes him in breath: by heauen I vow,
Thy bed he neuer wrong'd, more then he does now.
Maist. Gal.My bed? ha, ha, like enough, a shop-boord will serue to haue a cuckolds coate cut out vpon: of that wee'l talke hereafter: y'are a villaine.
Lax.Heare mee but speake sir, you shall finde mee none.
OmnesPray sir, be patient and heare him.
Maist. Gal.I am muzzled for biting sir, vse me how you will.
Lax.The first howre that your wife was in my eye,
My selfe with other Gentlemen sitting by,
(In your shop) tasting smoake, and speech beng vsed,
That men who haue fairest wiues are most abused,
And hardly scapt the horne, your wife maintain'd
That onely such spots in Citty dames were stain'd,
Iustly, but by mens slanders: for her owne part,
Shee vow'd that you had so much of her heart;
No man by all his wit, by any wile,
Neuer so fine spunne, should your selfe be guile,
Of what in her was yours.
My selfe with other Gentlemen sitting by,
(In your shop) tasting smoake, and speech beng vsed,
That men who haue fairest wiues are most abused,
And hardly scapt the horne, your wife maintain'd
That onely such spots in Citty dames were stain'd,
Iustly, but by mens slanders: for her owne part,
Shee vow'd that you had so much of her heart;
No man by all his wit, by any wile,
Neuer so fine spunne, should your selfe be guile,
Of what in her was yours.
Maist. Gal.Yet Pru 'tis well: play out your game at Irish sir: Who winnes?
Mist. Open.The triall is when shee comes to bearing:
Lax.I scorn'd one woman, thus, should braue all men,
And (which more vext me) a shee-citizen.
Therefore I laid siege to her, out she held,
Gaue many a braue repulse, and me compel'd
With shame to sound retrait to my hot lust,
Then seeing all base desires rak'd vp in dust,
And that to tempt her modest eares, I swore
Nere to prsumne againe: she said, her eie
Would euer giue me welcome honestly,
And (since I was a Gentlman) if it runne low,
Shee would my state relieue, not to o'rethrow
Your owne and hers: did so; then seeing I wrought
Vpon her meekenesse, mee she set at nought,
And yet to try if I could turne that tide,
You see what streame I stroue with, but sir I sweare
By heauen, and by those hopes men lay vp there,
I neither haue, nor had a base intent
To wrong your bed, what's done, is meriment:
Your Gold I pay backe with this interest,
When I had most power to do't I wroug'd you least.
And (which more vext me) a shee-citizen.
Therefore I laid siege to her, out she held,
Gaue many a braue repulse, and me compel'd
With shame to sound retrait to my hot lust,
Then seeing all base desires rak'd vp in dust,
And that to tempt her modest eares, I swore
Nere to prsumne againe: she said, her eie
Would euer giue me welcome honestly,
And (since I was a Gentlman) if it runne low,
Shee would my state relieue, not to o'rethrow
Your owne and hers: did so; then seeing I wrought
Vpon her meekenesse, mee she set at nought,
And yet to try if I could turne that tide,
You see what streame I stroue with, but sir I sweare
By heauen, and by those hopes men lay vp there,
I neither haue, nor had a base intent
To wrong your bed, what's done, is meriment:
Your Gold I pay backe with this interest,
When I had most power to do't I wroug'd you least.
Maist. Gal.If this no gullery be sir,
OmnesNo, no, on my life,
Maist. Gal.Then sir I am beholden (not to you wife)
But Maister Laxton to your want of doing ill,
Which it seemes you haue not Gentlemen,
Tarry and dine here all.
But Maister Laxton to your want of doing ill,
Which it seemes you haue not Gentlemen,
Tarry and dine here all.
Maist. Open.Brother, we haue a iest,
As good as yours to furnish out a feast.
As good as yours to furnish out a feast.
Maist. Gal.Wee'l crowne our table with it: wife brag no more,
Exeunt omnes.Of holding out: who most brags is most whore.
Exeunt omnes.Of holding out: who most brags is most whore.