The Relations of the Sexes (Duffey)/Chapter 7

MY history of prostitution must necessarily be a brief one. Those of my readers who may desire to obtain fuller information, can find it in the carefully prepared works of Mayhew, Sanger, Logan, and others, who have made the subject their especial study.

We are led to believe, from the fact that the earliest traditionary accounts of mankind refer to prostitution, that it has been customary, from earliest times, for a class of women to make a business of devoting their bodies to appease the lusts of men. Such a state of things has been the natural outgrowth of the condition of women. Women, as I have already explained, were looked upon by the savages of pre-historic ages, as created expressly to minister to their various wants. As the sensual nature of woman was alone recognized in those early days; and as, in consequence of the want of development of the moral and intellectual faculties of men, it would naturally occur that men would be given to lusting after more women than it was convenient or even possible for them ​to maintain as wives and concubines; so if the coveted women were not already the property of other men, the result was that a bargain was struck with fathers or brothers for temporary possession. The savage recognized the justice of some payment for that which was in those early days almost a woman's sole stock in trade. And she, helpless and with probably little volition in the matter, succumbed to the will of the stronger sex. If the woman was already a wife—that is, permanently appropriated by some other man—a certain feeling of honor in regard to one another's rights as men, caused them to regard the infringement of these rights as an injustice and a wrong. A man who had thus been guilty of sexual commerce with his neighbor's wife, had committed the heinous offence of sowing seed in his neighbor's preserves, and had adulterated that neighbor's family. Hence the term and the meaning of the word adultery,—a one-sided meaning which clings to it to this day in most countries.

The class of prostitutes was regarded by the men as more degraded even than women in general, since they were entitled to the name, and received the permanent protection, of no man; while the married women, trained by their husbands in the same ideas, looked down upon them from their own petty eminence, with even greater scorn.

Nevertheless, as the world grew older, and as polygamy increased among the wealthy, leaving the poorer ​classes of men unprovided with permanent female companions, this form of polyandry seemed to become a social necessity. Moreover, the system offered the same inducements that it does now against marriage, inasmuch as a man could, by its agency, provide more cheaply, and with less trouble to himself, for his pressing physical needs, than by being burdened with wives and children.

The sexual function no doubt assumed immense importance in the minds of the ancients. It was, probably, even more strongly developed than it is to-day, inasmuch as there were no counterbalancing moral or intellectual influences. The earliest mental growth of the ancients seems to have been in the direction of superstition, which they regarded as religion. The rites of these superstitious religions were frequently very gross in their character. In the complex theologies which have crystallized from them, we find the most shocking enormities committed in honor of deities which were reverenced with all the depth and strength of the human mind. Thus, every Babylonian female was obliged to prostitute herself once in her life in the temple of Mylitta, the Venus of the Chaldeans. It might be difficult to comprehend the reason for this heathen law, if one did not pause to reflect on the very nature of sacrifices, as taught by all religions which have been the result of human invention since the world began. The dearest objects of man's affections, the firstlings of the flock, the choicest and best of everything, have been required of him at the hands of supersti​tion. What more natural, therefore, than that the virginity of women, which men have always prized in all ages above everything else, a merciless religious belief should demand, and they should yield it in humble obedience to the decree? The ancient Greeks built temples to Venus, and not alone to one single Venus, the goddess of love, but to half-a-dozen or more, of whom Venus the courtezan, was by far the most decent. All these Venuses were revered by the people in magnificent temples, by rites which will not here bear description.

The Hindoos still retain, as a legacy from earliest times, a class of women connected with the temples, whose duty it is, besides performing certain religious rites, to minister to the sensual wants of their male companions, and of the pilgrims who visit the temples. It is not uncommon for parents in India to dedicate a daughter to this life, in fulfilment of a vow.

If we may believe the historians and poets, the Romans were but little better in some of their religious observances; and certain of their deities were equally lewd in character.

Taking into consideration the impulse which the strongest sentiment possible to the human heart—religion—gave to sensuality, and add to it the natural contempt in which men held women, it is not strange that prostitution should have been recognized among all forms of society. It is only strange that, helpless and under the control of the stronger sex as women were, they were ​not all demoralized. To prevent this result, however, came in man's selfish nature. Man took pride in his sons; therefore he insisted upon exclusive possession of their mothers, that there should be no doubt as to their paternity. We have no authentic records of prostitution among the nations of remote antiquity, unless we except the Jews. The Levitican law is very precise in regard to the legal status of the adulterer and the fornicator, and is especially severe upon Jewish women who should become harlots. Nevertheless, the tenor of the law is more to protect man in his rights to wife and family, than to give any safeguard to woman in a like respect. Although the strict letter of the law forbade it, yet illicit intercourse by the Jews with the women of Gentile nations was winked at and never actually punished.

Among the Hindoos, the prostitute class has always been a large one, and all women are considered liable to descend to it, as soon as they are deprived of legitimate means of sensual enjoyment.

In ancient Athens, according to the best authorities, the number of courtezans was very large and of every class, from the most degraded up to those who obtained more respect and consideration than virtuous women even. An Athenian wife had no right to claim any affection from her husband, though he possessed entire control over her; and she was bound to be true to him in order that she might give him true children. She was not allowed to be present at any public entertainment, ​must always appear veiled upon the street, was forbidden education, and was required to conduct herself with a demureness and decorum which should give no shadow offense to her lord and master. The hetairiæ, or most elevated class of lewd women, constituted the society of the age. They were educated, refined in manners, and intelligent. They met the other sex without restraint, and exercised a wonderful power over it, not only by the means of their personal attractions, which were recognized as unrivalled, but by the force and brilliancy of their intellect. Socrates, Pericles, Alcibiades, Demosthenes, Diogenes, Hyperides, and all the great men of Greece whose names have descended to us, were brought into daily contact with these women, and were enthralled by their charms of body and mind. There was no disgrace attached to keeping, or frequenting, a hetairiæa.

In Sparta, we find no records of prostitution, because under the Spartan laws all men and all women were held in common, though there were nominal husbands and wives. Men were taught to restrain their personal desires and impulses for the good of the state.

A somewhat better condition of things existed at Rome than in Athens, at least during the days of the Republic. Prostitutes there appeared to be in plenty, but instead of their being the privileged class, they were degraded below the matrons. For a long time it was a disgrace for a man to be seen entering a house of ill-fame. We are told that no man of character went into such a ​house without hiding his face with the skirt of his dress. When Cicero wished to overwhelm Cataline, he called his followers scortatores or whoremongers. A married man who visited such a house was an adulter, and liable to the penalties of adultery—the first instance we have on record where a conjugal infidelity against a wife is recognized in law—and the last, I believe, until we come to the statute laws of some of our own states.

Still, the Romans regarded prostitution as a necessary evil. "Well done," said the moralist to the youth entering a brothel; "so shalt thou spare matrons and maidens." As Rome changed from a republic to an empire, the morals of the people became more loose, owing probably to a variety of causes, prominent among which were the examples set by the different emperors, who seemed, many of them, each trying to outdo his predecessor in profligacy.

Coming down to modern times, we find in almost all nations a recognized class of prostitutes, which social economists regard as a necessity, repeating in substance the remark of the Roman moralist quoted above.

In Japan is found the most peculiar, and, at the same time, the most consistent form of prostitution of any age. Prostitutes are a class recognized and supported by law, and trained up to their calling. They are considered in no wise degraded, and occupy socially much the same position as that of the hetairiæ of ancient Greece, though the Japan wives are held in far higher esteem than their ​Grecian prototypes. They are educated and accomplished, and receive visits not only from the most intelligent men of the country, but also from their wives, who come to enjoy, and profit by, their brilliant conversation. It is considered no disgrace for a man to marry a woman of this class, and many women are thus taken from it, and prove, it is said, pattern wives. They are required to follow the calling of a prostitute for a certain period, unless married before its expiration, being taken care of by, and giving their profits to, the State; after which they can abandon it at their option. I call this plan a consistent one, because, in recognizing the supposed necessity for such a class, it does not degrade it, and treat its members harshly and unjustly. Surely if the demands upon this class are imperative ones, then no disgrace should attach to the supplying of these demands.

The cold regions of the North, no less than the warm climate of the tropics, seem to incite man to lust, and to tempt to illicit intercourse of the sexes. It is due to humanity, however, to recognize two or three exceptions. Among certain of the semi-barbarous tribes of Western Asia, prostitution is almost entirely unknown. Both youths and maidens are impressed with the honor and the dignity of chastity, and prove wonderfully faithful to their training. Again, among the Laplanders, the crime of adultery is almost unknown, and prostitution is equally rare, except in the fishing villages, where a few wretched women take to it for a means of livelihood. A curious ​contrast in social customs is presented in the now united countries of Sweden and Norway. They lie in such close contact, and are so nearly kin in race, that one would expect to find similar manners and customs in each. But profligacy runs riot in Sweden, although attempts have been made to "regulate" it by law. These attempts increased rather than checked its evils. In Norway, on the contrary,—if we except certain irregularities between betrothed couples, resulting from the formidable delays placed in the way of marriage by Church and State,—irregularities which are almost invariably atoned for as soon as legally practicable,—both men and women are singularly chaste. If one cares to trace facts to their legitimate causes, it may be interesting to know that women in Sweden are, or rather were, held in a state of tutelage during their entire existence, being allowed to make no move in life without the consent of their so-called natural or legal guardians. They are degraded in many ways, being assigned the most menial labors. In Norway, on the contrary, they are held in high esteem, and assume a more active share in the business and honors of life than in any other country on the globe, unless we except our own.

It is unnecessary to enter into details concerning prostitution in the various European countries. It exists in all of them, being in some socially tolerated, in others legally recognized and "regulated." In the condition of our own country in this respect we find enough to oc​cupy our minds and fill our hearts. The prostitutes of our great cities are counted by tens of thousands. They throng the streets; they flaunt their gaudy trappings in the faces of modesty and decency. They seduce our young men with their guiles, and debauch our young women by the glare of their tinsel, and their specious words. They rule over our country's destinies, by holding court in the lobbies of our national capital, and lay too often a successful siege to the passions of the legislators of a nation. Washington is a city so marked out above all others for their rendezvous, that it behoves all loving wives of faithful husbands to think long and well before they consent to rendering up these husbands to become the victims of the wiles of such sirens, for the sake of political power and social prestige. I think it might almost be safe to say that were it possible to banish this class of women from Washington, our Congressmen would not stand in so great a need of increased salaries and "back pay." Courtezans are expensive luxuries—far more so than wives and families.

But the effects of prostitution are not confined to cities alone. This huge social cephalapod stretches out its long arms in every direction wherever there are youth and innocence, and with its cruel tentacles grasps its victims in its merciless embrace, and sucks them into its capacious maw, to eject them only when it has drawn from them all that makes humanity beautiful or loveable. Though it is ever feeding, its hunger is never appeased. ​It is truly the devil-fish of society, and possesses a grasp stronger, and a diabolical purpose more tenacious, than any other of the evils which afflict the world.

In the West, are seen the frightful spectacles of whole cities of men given over to the merciless care of prostitutes. In the East, we have perhaps the sadder spectacle of husbands and wives who have hearths to sit down by, and children whose purity and helplessness should appeal to them, forgetting all, and yielding themselves up to the dominion of passion.

We find sin in high places as well as low, and it sometimes seems as if society had gone mad. Even young children, to whom the very word of vice should convey no especial meaning, are faithfully copying the ways of their elders, and taking, thoughtlessly, no doubt, but surely, the initiatory steps to a life of sin.

I do not wish to represent things as worse than they are. The only solace one finds, after an earnest consideration of the great evil, is in the contemplation of the happy homes—thank God! they are yet plenty—which are still uncontaminated. Yet, in view of the terrible state of affairs, one does not wonder that blind theorists grope in all sorts of impracticable directions for an outlet into a purer and freer social atmosphere. It is not greatly to be wondered at, even, that some have fancied they have discovered in marriage itself the cause of all the evils which afflict society. They argue that affairs could be no worse without it, and might possibly improve

​The social economist, in the consideration of licentiousness in its various forms, has something more to do than simply to prate of morality and religion. Those who are already restricted by these bonds will listen; the rest of the world will only laugh. One must begin at fundamental principles, and ask seriously, and in all earnestness, is prostitution really wrong, or is it only a disordered expression of a social element, which must be recognized and provided for, before we can hope to reconstruct society on a secure basis? I shall startle many, I know, in daring even to glance at this view of the question; nevertheless I think I have the courage.

There is a respectable number—respectable as far as numbers go at least, and respectable, also, inasmuch as one must give them credit for sincerity in their opinions—who agree with the ancient Roman, that brothels are safeguards to the chastity of "matrons and maidens." And society, as it is constituted to-day, seems to give a strong support to their theories. They tell us that man was born with a superabundance of sensual passion, which it is positively injurious to suppress before marriage, and the full exercise of which, after marriage, upon a wife, would be brutal in the extreme. Therefore, it is desirable and necessary, that certain women be set apart to satiate these lusts, that all others may go free. That this is the exact statement of the case, as things exist to-day, no one can deny. Whether this state of things is right, I leave for consideration in another chapter.

​I will now take up another point, and present it in what seems to me a common-sense and just view. The sexes were created about equal in numbers, which, to the logical mind, will be a strong point in favor of the intent of nature that they should be mated equally. Whosoever possesses a woman temporarily, and then throws her aside, has done injustice not only to the woman, but to some other man, inasmuch as he has violated some other man's destined wife. It seems to me this reasoning ought to be plain and acceptable enough to men, for it is exactly from the masculine standpoint. There is not a reference to the woman's wishes or rights in it. But the masculine is not the real standpoint after all. We must try prostitution by the same test by which we have tried polygamy and free love—by its effects upon both men and women.

The man who is the intimate companion of the prostitute, soon has all the finer attributes of his nature blunted. He loses, in a great measure, his respect for women, and comes, in course of time, to regard them all as no better than the class he knows, except as they may be restrained by circumstances. The company of harlots leads almost invariably to gambling and drunkenness, and, if prolonged, will produce utter moral ruin. While marriage seems to put the sexes in friendly and harmonious relations to one another, and calls out the most unselfish traits of the character, prostitution brings about just the opposite state of things. Woman is the slave of man, upon ​whom he can gratify his lusts, whom he may and does abuse and degrade to his heart's content. But she, after all, has her revenge. He becomes her natural prey. Cupidity, hate, malice, all conspire to lead her to do her worst with him. There is not an evil passion that prostitution and its conditions do not evoke, not a crime which will not result from it. If you doubt it, look at our criminal records and see for yourself. There is no community of interest between the prostitute and her temporary partner; therefore she will strip him of substance and character without mercy. One sex is pitted against the other in fierce battle, in which the victory is not always for the strong; for the man often goes down never to rise again, because the woman, having already renounced all, has nothing to lose, while he has everything.

Nature herself has stamped her curse upon this promiscuous communion of the sexes, by making it result in one of the most fearful disorders of which humanity knows—a disease which, in spite of medical quackery, when once it is taken into the system, will almost completely baffle every effort toward a cure. It may be lulled into seeming quiet for a while, but it is liable at any time to break out again, to curse an innocent wife, and condemn helpless children to a host of life-long sufferings. Through the effects of this disease, the face and body are covered with eruptions, the hair may fall out, the sight may be lost, rheumatic pains are felt, abcesses form, burst, and pour forth fœtid discharges, and slough away. ​The very flesh falls rotting from the bones, which die also. The tongue, the palate, the nose, the most sensitive parts of the body, are attacked, and the sufferings of the patient are too great for conception. After a terrible living death, death itself is welcomed as a messenger of mercy. Consumption, scrofula, epilepsy, and nearly all the afflictions to which humanity is subject, may be traced directly or indirectly to syphilitic taint in the blood. Truly, the sins of the fathers shall be visited upon the children to the third and fourth generation. All this is what a man risks when he seeks to gratify unlawful desires. Is it worth the price?

Nor is this all. Most men who are not wholly given over to sensuality and selfishness, regard these habits as mere temporary aberrations from the path of rectitude—a comparatively innocent sowing of "wild oats"—and intend some day to marry and settle down as husbands and fathers. Anna Dickinson, in her magnificent lecture on the social evil, says: "Every one knows what is meant by that sort of talk; (sowing of wild oats;) knows perfectly well that one says it as though they were talking of the pastime of an idle hour; knows that it may be the pastime of an idle hour; but every one knows that the same wild oats are sown on ground to the destruction of any harvests therein—ground that was meant to produce the growth of a noble womanhood;—that the wild oats so sown crush out any healthy life in a woman's body and mind, and unless God were more merciful, her soul in eternity ​And yet when one dares to speak the truth, people run with hasty feet to put stifling hands on the mouth that would utter it." Again she says in the same lecture: "I, one woman, at least, assert in the face of this savage civilization and infidel Christianity of the nineteenth century, that eight-tenths of all the sorrow, misery, suffering, sin, and shame in communities, comes from the establishment on the part of man, and the acceptance on the part of woman, of two moral codes—a moral code at the bar of which a man is to be tried and acquitted, and a woman to be tried and condemned, which is the direct outgrowth on the part of man for a liberty that shall be boundless as license itself."

Have these men who thus degrade themselves, no consciences, no appreciation of chastity, that they can take pure women in those arms which have so often encircled courtezans, and debase them by their vile embraces? It may be because I am a woman, and cannot see things from a man's point of view; but I have often thought that if I were a man, and such a man, I should stand self-accused and abased in the marriage chamber, and go out and sit in sack-cloth and ashes through the night, before I should dare to bring to the altar of true love the offering of a profaned body.

Do such men feel no self-reproaches as they see families grow up around them, knowing that their children may inherit the sensual tendencies which were developed by themselves; knowing that perhaps the consequences ​of their own sins may be a blight upon those young lives? How can they look those innocent children in the face, and not blush at the thought of their own unworthiness to bear the name of father?

Is it not true, is it not undeniably true, that the association of prostitutes may be, and often is, the total ruin of the man, be he young or old—his ruin in purse, in body, in mind and in soul? And is there a single redeeming feature in the system of prostitution? Is there any extenuating feature? None save that of the "physical necessities" of man. And even admitting these physical necessities, do not the objections counterbalance a thousandfold?

Now what shall we say of women in this connection? A stranger coming from another planet to the earth, and having this doctrine of the "physical necessities" of man explained to him briefly, without any reference to the evils attendant upon its supply, would no doubt be struck by the admirable plan adopted to save the wives, mothers, sisters and daughters of the race from discomfort and abuse. He would most probably remark: "Then sex in this planet, instead of being dual, is triplicate in character! An admirable arrangement! You have men for husbands and fathers, women for wives and mothers; and—what do you call the third sex which is to serve a still different and at the same time necessary purpose?" Imagine his astonishment when he is told of his mistake, and that a certain portion of those beings which would ​be otherwise wives and mothers, are set apart by society, and sacrificed for the good of man. Still greater would be his disgust when he found that these sacrificed and sacrificing women, who yielded to a stern necessity, were treated with the utmost contumely. He would probably at this point conclude to wing his way back to his own sphere, where it is to be hoped they manage things better.

These women are sacrificed for the supposed good of humanity, and our social economists would try and teach us that God ordained this state of things,—that He created one portion of humanity to be ruined in this world and for the next, that an unconquerable appetite, which He implanted in man's nature, should be appeased. My God is juster than that. He is guilty of no such grave mistakes. He does not ordain such antagonistic laws. One soul and one body are just as precious in his sight as another.

Each one of these abandoned women, if we except a few monstrosities who seek evil for innate love of it, possesses capabilities for living a pure life, and blessing a happy home. But this stream of happiness is damned for her, and the flood-gates of misery and disease opened—for what? That a man may riot in unbridled lust! Is, then, a man's body of so much more value than a woman's soul? Are their two souls to be lost, and their two bodies to be sacrificed, for the delight of a moment

As an employment for women, what is the effect of ​prostitution upon them, and how does it compare with their other occupations? In any other mode of life, the more steadily a woman gives attention to her business, the more certain she is of achieving success, and rising in the world. All other occupations are ladders by which the ambitious work-woman can ascend, and there is no dead level reached, so long as the time and the energies of the woman do not fall. With prostitution, the highest step is the first one. Then it goes steadily down, down, into the very depths of wretchedness, disease and death. There are not even exceptional cases of prostitutes rising by dint of perseverance in their profession to eminence and happiness. Unless they leave it, their life can have but one ending. She who shines in the gayest clothing to-day, whose favors are bought at fabulous prices, will, in a few brief years, if she follows the natural inclination of her life, die, a bloated, suffering, detested object, in a hovel, a prison or a poor-house, with scarcely rags enough to cover the disgusting body, which was once her stock in trade. There is no help, no hope, for her. She is cursed and forsaken, alike by God and man. No; let us hope that God is more pitiful than man, and that He will measure out a share of her punishment on the men who have been instrumental in bringing her to this low estate! Such a creature is man's work, and he cannot escape the responsibility.

A woman denied the right of being a wife and mother, and degraded to a mere instrument for sensual pur​poses, is naturally held in light esteem by the other sex, and regarded with contempt and scorn by her own. She is conscious of these feelings concerning her. She even exaggerates them in her imagination, and the result is, that, while she half hates men, the whole vial of her scorn and wrath is poured out upon virtuous women. She might wholly hate men too, did she not recognize the possibility of wounding her more virtuous sisters through them, quicker than in any other manner. How better can she avenge the contempt under which she withers, than to drag the sons, the brothers, and the husbands of women into the same slough of ruin with herself? She is cut off from all humanities and human sympathies; why should her more fortunate sisters be allowed to enjoy their own better fortune undisturbed? She knows, because she is a woman, how true the steel strikes home to the heart when aimed here, and she gloats over the misery she causes. It is natural—inevitable. She is placed not only in an antagonistic position to men, but to women, also. Their interests are not hers. She is a moral Ishmael, her hand against every one, and theirs against her.

I do not think there is more innate wickedness in a woman than in a man, only that her position is so anomalous that the evil is all brought to the surface. She has been forced by the dictates of a false society and false social economists to say: "Evil be thou my good." And she accepts the situation with a will. I never see ​or hear of such a woman without thinking with a deeply regretful sigh, what resources of good are lost to the world in that woman's fall. The same energy and force of character which have brought her so low, would have raised her to such wonderful heights, if her steps had been turned heavenward instead of hellward.

No remodelling of our social institutions can ever alter the position of affairs, or ever regulate them in any noticeable degree, so long as prostitution is recognized. The whole thing is false and damnable. Shall we, then, accepting this view of the matter, decide that prostitution is a necessary evil, that needs no abating, but only regulating? We women, as maids and matrons, are not protected. Our dearest interests are imperilled and often lost upon this unholy altar of lust. We want our husbands to be truly virtuous men, that we may give them that respect and reverence which the wife will always gladly bestow upon the husband, if he be really worthy of them. We require purity in them, as we are required to bring it to them. We want unsullied bodies and undivided affections. We want noble, untainted men for the fathers of our children, that the race may be improved rather than degenerated in our hands. We want to see homes,—happy, inviolate homes,—multiplied in the land. And finally, we do not want our sisters and daughters defrauded of their birthright, without even the mess of pottage in return. We cannot, we will not, give up our children to this terrible Moloch. The voice of Rachel must not be ​heard crying in the wilderness, mourning for her children.

Are we, the virtuous women in whose behalf so much is to be sacrificed that our purity and comfort may remain inviolate, to have no voice regarding this sacrifice? Are we of no more account than were the wives of the cave-dweller, or even of the patriarch of somewhat later days, who came and went at the bidding of their lord and master, nor ever deemed it possible to have a wish or a will of their own, any more than the cattle which were property equally with themselves? Has the world grown any since those days? If it has, then let us, the mothers of men, have some word to say concerning the welfare of the race.