The Heiress (Burgoyne, 1786)/Act 1, Scene 2

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Lord Gayville.My dear Clifford, urge me no more. How can a man of your liberality of sentiment descend to be the advocate of my uncle's family avarice?

Clifford.My lord, you do not live for yourself. You have an ancient name and title to support.

Lord Gayville.Preposterous policy! Whenever the father builds, games, or electioneers, the heir and title must go to market. Oh the happy families Sir Clement Flint will enumerate, where this practice has prevail'd for centuries; and the estate been improved in every generation, tho' specifically spent by each individual!

Clifford.But you thought with him a month ago, and wrote with transport of the match—"Whenever you think of Miss Alscrip, visions of equipage and splendor, villas and hotels, the delights of independance and profuseness, dance in your imagination."

Lord Gayville.It is true, I was that dissipated, fashionable wretch.

Clifford.Come, this reserve betrays a conscious­ness of having acted wrong: You wou'd not hide what wou'd give me pleasure: But I'll not be officious.

​Lord Gayville.Hear me without severity, and I'll tell you all—Such a woman, such an assemblage of all that's lovely in the sex!—

Clifford.Well but—the who, the how, the where?

Lord Gayville.I met her walking, and alone; and indeed so humbly circumstanced as to carry a parcel in her own hand.

Clifford.I cannot but smile at this opening of your adventure—how many such charmers have we met in our former excursions from Cambridge! I warrant she had a smart hat, and a drawn up pet­ticoat, like a curtain in festoons, to discover a new buckle, and a neat ancle.

Lord Gayville.No, Clifford, her dress was such as a judicious painter wou'd chuse to characterize modesty. But natural grace and elegance, stole upon the observation, and through the simplicity of a Quaker, shew'd all we cou'd conceive of a Goddess. I gazed and turn'd idolater.

Clifford. (Smiling).You may as well finish the description in poetry at once; you are on the very verge of it.

Lord Gayville.She was under the persecution of one of those beings peculiar to this town, who as­sume the name of gentlemen upon the sole cre­dentials of a boot, a switch, and round hat—The things, that escape from counters and writing desks to disturb public places, insult foreigners, and put decent women out of countenance. I had no difficulty in the rescue.

Clifford.And having silenced the dragon, in the true spirit of chivalry, you conducted the damsel to her castle.

​Lord Gayville.The utmost I could obtain was, leave to put her into a hackney coach, which I followed unperceived and lodged her in the house of an obscure milliner in a bye street.

Clifford.The sweet Cyprian retreat! Such a priestess of your goddess, I dare say, did not refuse access to the shrine.

Lord Gayville.It is true a few guineas made the milliner my own. I almost liv'd in the house; and often, when I was not suspected to be there, passed whole hours list'ning to a voice, that wou'd have captivated my very soul, tho' it had been her only attraction. At last———

Clifford.What is to follow!

Lord Gayville.By the persuasions of the woman, who laugh'd at my scruples with an unknown girl, a lodger upon a second floor, I hid myself in the closet of her apartment. And the practiced trader assured me I had nothing to fear, from the inter­ruption of the family.

Clifford.Oh for shame, my Lord: whatever may be the end of your adventure, such means were very much below you.

Lord Gayville.I confess it, and have been pu­nish'd. Upon the discovery of me, fear, indig­nation and resolution agitated the whole frame of the sweet girl by turns—I would sooner have com­mitted sacrilege than have offered an affront to her person—Confused—overpower'd—I stammer'd out a few incoherent words—Interest in her for­tune—respect—entreaty of forgiveness—and left her, to detest me.

Clifford.You need go no farther. I meant to rally you, but your proceedings and emotion alarm me for your peace and honour. If this girl is an adventurer, which I suspect, you are ​making yourself ridiculous—If she is strict­ly innocent, upon what ground dare a man of your principle think farther of her? you are on a double precipice; on one side impell'd by folly, on the other———

Lord Gayville.Hold, Clifford, I am not pre­par'd for so much admonition. Your tone is changed since our separation; you seem to drop the Companion and assume the Governor.

Clifford.No, my Lord, I scorn the Sycophant, and assert the Friend.

Servant.My Lord, Mr. Blandish [Exit.

Clifford. (significantly)I hope every man will do the same.

Blandish.Mr. Clifford do not let me drive you away—I want to learn your power to gain and to preserve dear Lord Gayville's esteem.

Clifford. (with a seeming effort to withdraw his hand which Blandish holds.)Sir, you are quite accom­plish'd to be an example.—

Blandish.I have been at your apartment to look for you—we have been talking of you with Sir Clement—Lady Emily threw in her word.—

Clifford. (disengaging his hand)Oh, Sir; you make me too proud.( aside) Practised Parasite! [Exit.

Blandish. (aside)Sneering Puppy—(to Lord Gayville) My Lord you seem disconcerted, has any thing new occur'd?

Lord Gayville.No, for their is nothing new in being disappointed in a friend.

Blandish.Have you told your story to Mr. Clifford?

Lord Gayville.I have, and I might as well have told it to the Cynic, my Uncle: he cou'd not have discourag'd, or condemn'd me more.

​Blandish.They are both in the right. I see things exactly as they do—but I have less fortitude, or more attachment than others:—The inclinati­ons of the man I love are spells upon my oppo­sition.

Lord Gayville.Kind Blandish! you are the confidant I want.

Blandish.What has happen'd since your dis­covery in the closet?

Lord Gayville.The lovely wanderer left her lodgings the next morning—but I have again found her—she is in a house of equal retirement, but of very different character, in the city, and inaccessable. I have wrote to her, and knowing her to be distress'd, I have enclos'd Bank Bills for two hundred pounds, the acceptance of which I have urged with all the delicacy I am master of, and by heaven without a purpose of corruption.

Blandish.Two hundred pounds, and Lord Gayville's name—

Lord Gayville.She has never known me, but by the name of Mr. Heartly. Since my ambi­tion has been to be loved for my own sake, I have been jealous of my title.

Blandish.And prithee by what diligence or chance, did Mr. Heartly trace his fugitive?

Lord Gayville.By the acuteness of Mr. Prompt, your Valet de Chambre. You must pardon me for pressing into my service for this occasion, the fellow in the world fittest for it.

Blandish.You know I am incapable of being angry with you,—but that dog to practice upon my weakness, and engage without my consent!

Lord Gayville.The blame is all mine. He is now waiting an answer to my letter—how my heart palpitates at the delay.———

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Prompt (Starts at seeing his master).Are you alone my Lord?

Lord Gayville.Don't be afraid Prompt—your peace is made.

Prompt.Then there is my return for your Lordship's goodness. (Giving the letter) This letter was just now brought to the place appoint­ed by a porter.

Lord Gayville.By a Cupid, honest Prompt, and these characters were engraved by the point of his arrow! (kissing the superscription.) "To—Heartly, Esq." Blandish, did you ever see any thing like it?

Blandish.If her style be equal to her hand­writing—

Lord Gayville.If it be equal!—Infidel! you shall have proof directly.(opens the letter precipi­taely) Hey day! what the Devil's here? my bills again and no line—not a word—Death and dis­appointment, what's this?

Prompt.Gad it's well if she is not off again—faith I never ask'd where the letter came from.

Lord Gayville.Should you know the messenger again?

Prompt.I believe I should, my Lord. For a Cupid he was somewhat in years, about six feet high, and a nose rather given to purple.

Lord Gayville.Spare your wit, Sir, till you find him.

Prompt.I have a shorter way—my life upon it I start her myself.

Blandish.And what is your device, sirrah?

Prompt.Lord, Sir, nothing so easy as to bring ​every living creature in this town to the window: a tame bear, or a mad ox; two men, or two dogs fighting; a balloon in the air—(or tied up to the ceiling 'tis the same thing) make but noise enough and out they come, first and second childhood, and every thing between—I am sure I shall know her by inspiration.

Lord Gayville.Shall I describe her to you?

Prompt.No, my lord, time is too precious—I'll be at her last lodgings, and afterwards half the town over before before your Lordship will travel from her forehead to her chin.

Lord Gayville.Away then, my good fellow. He cannot mistake her, for when she was form'd na­ture broke the mould. [Exit Prompt.

Blandish.Now for the blood of me, cannot I call that fellow back; it is absolute infatuation: ah! I see how this will end.

Lord Gayville.What are your apprehensions?

Blandish.That my ferret yonder will do his part completely, that I shall set all your uncle's doctrine at nought, and thus lend myself to this wild intrigue, till the girl is put into your arms.

Lord Gayville.Propitious be the thought, my best friend—my uncle's doctrine! but advise me, how shall I keep my secret from him for the pre­sent? He is suspicion personified: the eye of Sir Clement is a very probe to the mind.

Blandish. (aside)Yes, and it sometimes gives one a cursed deal of pain before he is convinced of touching a sound part. [To Lord Gayville.] Your best chance would be to double your assiduities to Miss Alscrip. But then dissimulation is so mean a vice.———

Lord Gayville.It is so indeed, and if I give into it for a moment. It is upon the determina​­ tion of never being her husband. I may despise and offend a woman; but disgust wou'd be no ex­cuse for betraying her. Adieu, Blandish; if you see Prompt first, I trust to you for the quickest communication of intelligence.

Blandish.I am afraid you may—I cannot resist you [Exit Lord Gayville]—Ah! wrong—wrong—wrong; I hope that exclamation is not lost. A blind compliance with a young man's passions, is a poor plot upon his affections. [Exit.