The American Boy's Handy Book/Chapter 36
Puss-in-Boots.
Puppets: Carabas, afterward the Marquis; his oldest brother, the Miller; Corsando, his next older brother; Puss-in-Boots; Wolfgang, the Ogre; King; Princess; King's Servants; Donkey; Rabbit; Bag; Rat. Also, if desired, Courtiers.
Act I. Scene I.
Scene: Landscape with tree, bridge, and mill at one side. Corsando discovered riding the Donkey backward and forward over the bridge. Miller and Carabas emerge from the mill and stop under tree.
You know, as the youngest, you must be the last.
Our father, of course, left to me the old mill,
And the ass to Corsando, for so reads the will;
And he had nothing else but our big pussy-cat,
Which is all he could give you. A fool can see that!
Yet Dick Whittington once the Lord Mayor became,
And his start and yours are precisely the same.
But see! I am wasting my time from the mill,
For while I am talking the wheels are all still.
I have nothing to give you―be that understood.
So farewell, my brother! May your fortune be good.
[Exit Miller into mill, when wheel begins to turn. Corsando approaches, and stopping the Donkey in front of Carabas, addresses him.]
Go hire out your cat to catch other men's mice.
[Corsando turns to leave; Puss comes out and gives the Donkey a scratch, causing him to kick wildly as he goes off.]
Come, Pussy, stay by me―I depend upon you.
You are all that I have, but can do me no good,
Unless I should kill you and cook you for food.
Puss: Meow! Meow! Kill me not, my good master, I pray―
Have mercy upon me! Now list what I say:
I'm no common cat,
I assure you of that!
In the top of the mill, where the solemn owl hoots,
You will find, if you look, an old pair of top-boots.
Bring them to me,
With the bag you will see
Under the mill, by the roots of yon tree.
Carabas: Well, Puss, what you ask for I will not refuse,
Since I have all to gain and have nothing to lose.
[Exit into the mill.
[Puss stands a moment as if to think, then capers up and down the stage and speaks.]
Sir Whittington's cat
Would have grown very fat
Had she lived upon such prey
All the time, day after day,
Till she made a Lord Mayor of her master!
But mine shall gain a name
Through much sweeter game,
And not only climb higher but faster!
[Exit.
[Shift the scene by removing the light and, while the stage is dark, removing the mill and in its place setting up some trees.]
Act I. Scene II.
Scene: Woods. Enter Puss-in-Boots, carrying Bag.
Were it not for these boots I should sure have pegged out;
But if I'm not mistaken, there's game hereabout,
For I scent in the air
A squirrel or hare.
I wonder now whether he's lean, lank, or stout?
But I know a habit
Of the shy little rabbit:
He'll enter this bag, and then, my! won't I grab it?
[Arranges Bag and hides; Rabbit comes out, and after running away several times, enters the Bag, when Puss pounces upon it.]
For he's e'en over-fond of fat rabbits, I hear.
An' I once gain his ear
I see my way clear;
For I'll tell him a story both wondrous and queer.
And then my poor master'll have nothing to fear―
If he acts as I bid him, good fortune is near!
[Curtain.]
Act II. Scene I.
Scene: King's Palace. King discovered standing behind a throne. Princess and attendants standing around. A loud "meow!" heard without. King and Court start. Enter Puss, with Rabbit in his paws.
To smile on a slave who thus here, on his knees,
A humble offering
From Carabas doth bring.
And, Sire, my master further bade me say,
If it please his gracious King, he will gladly send each day
The choicest game that in his coverts he can find;
And your kind acceptance of it still closelier will bind
A hand and a heart as loyal and true
As e'er swore allegiance, O King, unto you!
King: Your master has a happy way
Of sending gifts. Thus to him say,
That we accept his offer kind,
And some good day, perhaps, may find
A way to thank him which will prove
We value most our subjects' love.
Carabas, is your master's name?
What rank or title doth he claim?
Shall we among the high or low
Look for your lord, who loves us so?
Puss: A marquis is my master, Sire;
In wealth and honor none are higher.
[Aside.
Who work their way into a palace!)
Now, if it please your Majesty,
I will return, and eagerly
To my marquis-master bring
This kind message from his King.
[Exit, bowing. Curtain.]
Act II. Scene II.
Scene: High-road; one or two trees. Carabas and Puss-in-Boots discovered.
Carabas: Patience to doctors! I'm hungry, I say!
Puss: All will go well if you mind me to-day,
And while the sun shines we must surely make hay.
Carabas: Carry your hay to Jericho!
Who can eat hay, I'd like to know!
Puss: Meow! my good master, your help I implore,
And while I help fortune, you open the door.
Carabas: No house do I own, so where is the door?―
Ah! Pussy, forgive me, I'll grumble no more,
But help all I can in your nice little plan;
For I know you have brains, Puss, as well as a man.
Puss: Meow! my good master, e'en though you froze,
You must bathe in yon river!
[Exit Carabas.]
And now for his clothes! The King's coach is coming, and I've laid a scheme― Though of that, I am sure, the King doesn't dream. The coach is in sight! Now, may I be blessed If I don't wish my master was wholly undressed!
[Loud cries without.]
There! now hear him screaming―the water is cold; I'll go bury his clothes, for they need it! they're old.
[Exit Puss, who soon returns. As he re-enters, the KING'S coach appears.]
PUSS: Meow! my good master! Alas for him ! Help! fire! murder! My master can't swim.
[Runs to coach.]
Help! help! gracious King, or Lord Carabas drowns! KING: Ho, slaves! To the rescue! A hundred gold crowns Will we give to the man who saves Carabas' life!
[SERVANTS rush across the stage. KING continues, aside:]
My daughter shall soon make the marquis a wife. Puss (aside): Mighty keen are a cat's ears! Who knows all that Pussy hears! This is better than I hoped for, by a heap. What a very lucky thing The blessed, kind old King Doesn't know this shallow river isn't deep!
[Exit Puss, running after SERVANTS. Puss immediately returns, crying:]
O King! what a combobbery! There's been an awful robbery, And no clothing for the marquis can we find. KING: That is no great disaster, For tell your worthy master We always pack an extra suit behind. If we can trust our eyes, He's just about our size. So, while in yonder grove we take a rest, Your master'll not encroach; Tell him to use our coach, And not to haste, but drive up when he's dressed.
[Exit coach, backing out, the Driver crying:]
Whoa! Back! Back! No room to turn here ! Whoa! Back! Back!
[Enter CARABAS, in bathing suit. Puss runs after him.]
Puss: Meow! my good master! I couldn't do it faster. But I've now a costly suit, and just your size. In the King's coach you're to ride, With the Princess by your side; Make love to her, and praise her beauteous eyes. And, master, list to me! Whate'er you hear or see, Be very sure you never show surprise.
[Curtain.]
Act III. Scene I.
SCENE: Interior of Ogre's castle. PUSS-IN-BOOTS discovered.
Puss: I'm here at last! Much danger's past; But such long tramps my liking hardly suits; 'Twas wisdom when I guessed That it was surely best To secure these blessed, helpful old top-boots. I was made to understand That all this beauteous land Belonged to this man-eating old Wolfgang; But as down the road I sped, To each laborer I said: Your life upon your answer now doth hang. When the sovereign comes this way, When he questions, you, straightway, “This land belongs to Carabas," must say.
[Awful growling and noise heard, and Wolfgang enters.]
WOLFGANG: Blood and thunder! Who, I wonder, Sent me such a tempting pussy-cat for dinner? I can't under- Stand the blunder; But I'm glad, my pussy cat, that you're no thinner. Puss: M-e-o-w! My brother Wolfgang (ah, how rich!) I wouldn't have believed You so easily deceived. Know that I am Catoscratch, the witch. WOLFGANG: Rattledy bang! Snake and fang! So you're a witch, all skilled in herbs and roots! My power is no less, But I must confess That I ne'er before this saw a cat in boots I Puss: Meow! my brother, speak not of my skill : 'Tis true I can change to a cat, but no more, While fame says that you can assume at your will Any form that you please, be it higher or lower. Many a league, With much fatigue, From a country of ice and snow, On my broomstick steed Have I come, with speed, These great wonders to see and know. WOLFGANG: Cuts and slashes ! Blood in splashes! Who dares doubt what I can do? Now tell me, old witch, Of the many forms, which Shall I take to prove this to you? Puss: Meow! my great Wolfgang, it seems to me that
Of all 'twould be hardest to turn to a rat! [WOLFGANG must be drawn backward toward the light. This will cause his shadow to grow to immense proportions. After slowly lifting him over the candle, take up the RAT and just as slowly put it over the light, and move the puppet up until it touches the cloth. The audience will see Wolfgang swell up to a shapeless mass, and then, apparently, reduce himself to a tiny rat. Puss must then be made to pounce upon the RAT, and by passing the RAT behind Puss, and then letting it drop, it will look to the audience as if Puss swallowed the Rat whole.]
Puss: Bah! Ugh! Spat! What a horrid rat!
[Struts up and down the stage.]
Well, I think for a cat I'm pretty plucky! Now I'll go and bring The Princes and the King To the castle of Lord Carabas, The Lucky!
[Puss, dancing frantically, laughing and purring, nearly tumbles against the KING, CARABAS, and the PRINCESS, as they enter.]
Puss Pardon, most gracious Sire, pardon, great King! That your humble servant should do such a thing; It's because I'm delighted, More than if I had been knighted, That the marquis, my master, should entertain the King. KING: A truly faithful servant you must be, Pussy. When the marquis can spare you, come to me, Pussy. We'll see that you're not slighted; Even now you shall be knighted― Sir Thomas Cat de Boots your name shall be, Pussy. KING (continuing to CARABAS): This castle, marquis brave, Beats the very best we have. CARABAS: Most gracious Sire, there's not a thing Belongs to me―
[Puss rushes frantically to Carabas, and whispers in his ear; then returns.]
CARABAS: But to my King. For my life and all I have to thee I owe. KING: My Carabas, we're pleased; Our mind is cheered and eased, For we feared that this great castle held a foe. 'Tis a princely home, 'tis true, And we'll make a prince of you. You shall wed my charming daughter, ere we go. Puss M-e-o-w! M-e-o-w! M-e-o-w! What would say his brothers now, If they saw Lord Marquis Carabas the Great? And until the last horn toots (With Sir Thomas Cat de Boots), He shall occupy his present high estate!
[All dance. Curtain.]