Ten Kiogen in English/The Melon-Thief

Garden-Owner.—I am one who lives in the village. I have many gardens, but I have not visited them in a long while. I am coming to visit them to-day. Now, let me go slowly! There be many who have gardens; but there’s no garden like my own, which does so nicely every year. Everybody praises it.—There is my garden already! Well, well, how extraordinarily it has grown in my absence! Here the melons are coloring nicely. I will build a fence and set a scarecrow to protect it from birds and beasts.—It does look verily splendid. I will visit again to-morrow.

Melon-Thief.—I am one who lives in this neighborhood. My friend invited me for an evening chat, sending me his message. So I come. Let me go quickly! It is no small matter to make the long journey by the field-road. He sent the man especially for me, so I am coming. I will hurry, as all the ​young fellows must be waiting for me. There is a fence strange to me. What garden may it be, I wonder? Now I will peep into it. Well, well, what a lovely odor! Melon-garden it is. What a chance! I’d like to take one or two of these melons for my entertainment to-night. Ah, what shall I do? The day is growing dark. I will break the fence anyhow. Let me first cut the knot! Ka-ka! Now I will qreak the fence. Meri-meri! Gwasa-gwasa! Meri-meri! Well, well, what a terrible noise! Did no one hear me, I wonder? I shall be accused; if some one be here. I am doing a stupid thing. I am covering my mouth, in the thought that somebody accused me. (Laughter). Well, well, I did a stupid thing. Now, let me be over the fence! There! Well, what an abundance! Which shall I pick? This shall I take? Nay, this shall I take? Thisi s only a dead leaf. Which shall I pick? This one looks all right. This is a dead leaf also. Well, I don’t understand it at all. What’s the matter? Aha! It is said it’s best to crawl for melon-picking by night. I will crawl then. Now, look, here is one already. Well, well, what a lovely-looking melon! Now, look, here is one again! (Laughter.) This ​does look especially fine. Why didn’t I do this from the beginning? It is perfectly easy to pick as many as I will. Now, look—what, what? Pray, excuse me! I am not a melon-thief. I am one who is astray from the road. Pray, excuse me! Pray, pray, do not look so very solemn! Say whether you will excuse me or not, yes or no! Oh, pray, I feel quite uncomfortable if you keep so silent! I wouldn’t mind folding my already seven-folded knees eight-fold, to beg your excuse. Pray, excuse me! Ah, pray, pray! What? Why, I thought it was a man. It is only a scarecrow. Well, well, how indignant I am! I surrendered to a worthless scarecrow. How enraged I am!—I have an idea! First I will break down this scarecrow. I will trample the melon vines all over. There, I am satisfied. Now it is a useless thing to stay so long in such a place. Everybody must be waiting for me. I will go quickly. Well! I have taken so much time for unnecessary work.

Garden-Owner:—I will visit my garden again to-day. What is this? Somebody has broken my fence away. I cannot understand it. What is this? The melon-vines are torn all around. The scarecrow also has been taken down. It cannot be the work of ​bird or beast. I think some melon-thief did step in. Mad am I! I must find that thief, by any means. What shall I do? Aha! It is so,—such a fellow would come again. I will be a scarecrow myself this time, and surely find him out. Mad am I! If he comes again, I will find him out, and I will not let him alone. Now this is first-rate.

Melon-Thief:—Now I hurry back home. Last night I took the melons. Everybody praised them, beginning with the head of the family, saying: “Remarkably fine-tasting melons1” I would take a gift home with me, picking one or two melons by the way. Here I come already to the same garden! It looks as if the melon-owner had not yet visited it. The same it is with fence, the same with the melon-vines,—What’s this? The melon-owner must. have been here. The scarecrow is fixed up. Well, there is one who could never learn a lesson. This is an extraordinarily well-done scarecreow. It does look like a real human being. Now, that reminds me of something, seeing that scarecrow look so like a man. I am told there will be a scene where a demon punishes a sinner in our next “Kurui” (farce), and ​we shall play imitating many things. Who knows whether I may not be given the part of the demon? I think I will deem that scarecrow the sinner, and myself the demon, and try a punishment. Now I wonder if here in this neighbourhood I cannot get a bamboo stick. Here it is happily. I will deem it an iron stick, and try a punishment. “Why, sinner, walk faster!” (Laughter.) It does not answer, however hard I punish it, as it is only a doll. Who knows whether I may not be chosen for the part of the sinner since it is a matter of drawing lots. This time I wlll take the scarecrow to be the demon, and myself for the sinner. “Alas! How sad! I have been walking thus far. Pray, don’t punish me so much! He holds me back if I go.” If I stop he beats me down with his stick. The scarecrow did beat me, according to the song. I cannot understand it at all. Was it the wind? I pull the scarecrow, and it bends forward. I let it go, and it goes, and it springs up. I pull the scarecrow, and it bends forward. I let it go, and it springs up. (Laughter.) Well, well! It is an excellently well-done scarecrow. No wonder it did beat me. I will try to be punished again. “He holds me back if I go. If I stop he ​beats me with his stick.”

Garden-Owner:—You hungry demon! You shall not escape!

Melon-Thief:—Alas! I was fooled. Pray, excuse me, excuse me!

Garden-Owner:—Malicious one! Why did you steal my melon so, you rascal? Which way are you going? Is nobody here? Catch him! I will not let him go.