Songs of the Cowboys (1908)/Top Hand

While you're all so frisky I'll sing a little song
Think a horn of whiskey will help the thing along
It's all about the Top Hand when he's busted flat
Bumming round town, in his Mexican hat
He'd laid up all winter and his pocket book is flat
His clothes are all tatters but he don't mind that.

See him in town with a crowd that he knows
Rolling cigarettes an' a smoking through his nose.
First thing he tells you, he owns a certain brand
Leads you to think he is a daisy hand
Next thing he tells you 'bout his trip up the trail
All the way to Kansas to finish out his tale.

Put him on a horse, he's a handy hand to work
Put him on the branding pen he's dead sure to shirk.
With his natural leaf tobacco in the pockets of his vest
He'll tell you his Californy pants are the best.
He's handled lots of cattle, has'nt any fears
Can draw his sixty dollars, for the balance of his years.

​Put him on herd, he's a cussin all day
Anything tries, its sure to get away.
When you have a round up he tells it all about
He's going to do the cuttin' and you can't keep him out.
If anything goes wrong he lays it on the screws
Say's the lazy devils were trying to take a snooze.

When he meets a greener he aint afraid to rig
Stands him on a chuck box and makes him dance a jig.
Waives a loaded cutter, makes him sing and shout,
He's a regular Ben Thompson, when the boss aint about.
When the boss aint about he leaves his leggins in camp,
He swears a man who wears them is worse than a tramp.

Say's he's not caring for the wages that he earns
For Dad's rich in Texas 'n got wagon loads to burn
But when he goes to town he's sure to take it in
He's always been dreaded, wherever he has been.
He rides a fancy horse, he is a favorite man
Can get more credit than a common waddie can.

When you ship the cattle he's bound to go along
To keep the boss from drinking and to see that nothing's wrong
Wherever he goes, catch on to his game
He likes to be called with a handle to his name.
He's always primping with a pocket looking glass
From the top to the bottom he's a bold Jackass.
Waddie Cow boy.