Salmagundi (Huddesford, 1791)/The Climax

THE CLIMAX.

Before I came to London
I us'd to sip Tea with my Mother,
And I thought it a treat
If Small-beer I could get
To drink with my Elder Brother.
Tol-de-rol, &c.

But my Father condemn'd this practice,
He hector'd and swore like mad—Sir:
Says he, "Give him Ale,
"For that will never fail
"To make him as stout as his Dad—Sir."

Soon after, our Ned the Butler
Took me down to taste some October:—
Cried he, "Never fear
"To drink Strong-beer,
"But swallow it, drunk or sober.

But when I arriv'd in London
Of Porter I drank my pot—Sir,
A pipe did I funk,
And so oft got drunk
That my Sister call'd me a Sot—Sir.

From Beer to Wine I ascended
By a series of just gradation:
'Till my friends would me jog
With—"There's a jolly Dog
"Soon shall tope with the best of the nation."

With a Blood then I got acquainted,
Who strait prov'd wond'rous handy:
For he taught me to swear
Like a Grenadier;
And always drink Rum or Brandy.

Thus I to Drams betook me,
And Wine I drank no longer:
Sometimes I threw in
Gunpowder to my Gin,
To make the potion stronger.

But, considering all things earthly,
That the span of Life so short is:—
Whate'er you may think,
I still shall drink
Till I come to Aqua-fortis.
Tol-de-roll, &c.