Parerga/Into Cold Indifference

INTO COLD INDIFFERENCE.

Into cold indifference
  I strive to curb my soul:
Love's embitter'd vehemence
Every feeling's turbulence
  Thus I might controul.

All unagitatedly
  On its azure way
Moves along each placid star,
Beautifully regular;
  Passionless are they.

Thus the Mind would shape its course
  With purpose firm and high;
But, alas, the vain endeavour!
The Heart, the Heart is human ever;
   It must love or die.

What has Love bestow'd on thee?
  Evanescent joy,
But a long-enduring anguish,
Memories no time may vanquish,
  No resolve destroy.

High the summer-grass is waving
O'er the Loved One's head.
Oh that showers of bitter weeping
Could revive the pale flower sleeping
In that lowly bed!

Is the dreary lesson vain?
Does sensation cling
For fresh tortures to thy bosom?
Must again Love's poison-blossom
From the sear'd branch spring?

Yes, the old familiar feeling
Re-asserts its reign:
Unresisting, unreflecting,
Only Apathy rejecting,
Let me love again

In its native skies the Spirit
Starry calm may know;
But a flower-like alternation,
Now delight, now desolation,
Blend its doom below.