Page:Weird Tales Volume 6 Number 4 (1925-10).djvu/86

A Touching Tale of Child Psychology

I can't keep it any longer, doctor. I must tell. It's too much for a boy to keep to himself.

I can't tell my mother 'cause it's so terrible and I haven't any dad any more and you know me since I'm born.

I—I—oh, doctor, please come nearer; I don't want to say it out loud, I guess I—I'm a murderer! Yes, don't be frightened, but I killed my—my baby brother! I killed Freddy not once, but—twice! So you see I'm—what I said and I'm only fifteen years old.

No, no, doctor, I'm not feverish any more. I know what I'm talking about. I'm almost well; you said so yourself.

It's five weeks, isn't it, that I've had this brain fever? I guess, doctor, it's because I had this all on my mind; and telling it will help me, truly and honest. Just let me hold your hand and tell you, and please, listen and listen hard 'cause I'm going to tell you just how everything happened.

You know how I loved my little brother, and he was crazy about me. I honestly liked to take him out in his carriage and show him off to the other kids on the block 'cause Freddy was the cutest and smartest and brightest—say, doctor, you ought to know; you helped when he was born—wasn't he a wonderful kid? Oh, doctor, I didn't mean any harm! You know that, and I guess He—He up there knows, too.

Where was I? Oh, yes. Well, I used to take him in his carriage up that little hill; then I'd ran down ahead and be ready to catch him with my arms open like this—see—and Freddy'd clap his hands and make such cute, funny little noises 'cause he was having such a bully time. He'd kick his fat legs like he always wanted some more of that game, and his blue eyes'd be big and happy and shining and then—please hold my hand tight, now comes the hard part to tell.

Well, one day the carriage came down the hill and there—was a stone—and I didn't see it—and the carriage bumped up sharp and—and Freddy fell out—sideways.

Oh, doctor, you don't know how scared I was—scared so stiff I couldn't move for maybe two hours—only I suppose it wasn't so long anyhow, but honestly it seemed so 'cause I just couldn't make my legs go and I got most awful cold and I could only look at baby on the ground.

At last I saw Freddy's arm move; then the ice in my legs melted like, and I could go to little Freddy and pick him up, but his eyes were closed just like he was asleep and I waited for him to wake up. Well, he did wake up. Oh, yes, he woke up, and I thought everything was all right.

Next day I licked a guy who did that carriage-catching stunt with his baby sister and I told him he might kill her. You see, doctor, some of us kids don't think until something happens, and that was me too.

No, doctor, that isn't all. I was just thinking. Now, please, will you listen some more?

Well, when I came home from school next day Freddy didn't smile at me and stretch out his arms. He