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"People can never tell you a story without putting their own colour upon it—that is the difficulty of getting evidence in real life. There, I grant you, the detective stories are unreal: they always represent witnesses as giving the facts with complete accuracy, and in language of the author's own choosing. Somebody bursts into the room, and says, 'The body of a well-dressed man in middle-life has been found four yards away from the north end of the shrubbery. There are marks of violence about the person of the deceased'—just like a reporter's account of an inquest. But in real life he would say, 'Good God! A man's shot himself on the lawn'—leaping at once, you see, from observation to inference."

"Journalism," explained Carmichael, "makes havoc of all our detective stories. What is journalism? It is the effort to make all the facts of life correspond, whether they will or no, to about two hundred ready-made phrases. Head-lines are especially destructive—you will have noticed for yourselves how the modern head-line aspires to be a series of nouns, with no other parts of speech in attendance. I mean, the phrase, 'She went into the garden to cut a cabbage-leaf to make an apple pie' becomes 'Apple-pie fraud cabbage-leaf hunt,' and 'What; no soap! So he died' becomes 'Soap-shortage fatality sequel.' Under this treatment, all the nuances of atmosphere and of motive disappear; we figure the truth by trying to make it fit into a formula."