Page:The Smart Set (Volume 1).djvu/330
THE BENEDICT'S LAMENT
In that lost land of Arcady
(Would I could find a map thereof!)
Reigned exquisite simplicity
(One paid no house rent for a grove);
The maid to whom one gave his love
Wore daisies with a homespun dress,
Nor knew a jewel from a glove—
Ah, to have wed a shepherdess!
Since I espoused my Caroline
My education is complete;
The manicurist comes at nine
(See little bill for hands and feet);
At ten a female, prim and neat
(My lady's locks her arts confess);
At twelve her modiste joins the suite—
Ah, to have wed a shepherdess!
That little maid Arcadian,
She wore no lingerie of lace—
Her one extravagance, a span
Of ribbon blue her crook to grace;
No poor cosmetic found a place
Upon her cheeks' round loveliness—
In morning dew she washed her face—
Ah, to have wed a shepherdess!
L'ENVOI
Bills, that plague not the bachelor,
Ye mock a Benedict's distress,
Who mutters, as he counts you o'er,
"Ah, to have wed a shepherdess!"
A MATTER OF ECONOMY
Bingo—I think, after all, I shall go to Europe with my family.
Twickenham—Why, I thought you couldn't afford it?
"Well, it's cheaper for me to go with them than to let them go alone."