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THE LIGHTER SIDE "I do." "Have you ever been married to her?" "I have not." (Here several of the jurors scowled on Mr. Tucker.) "That is all, Mr. Tucker." "Stop, one moment, Mr. Tucker," said the opposing counsel; " is the female in question your mother?" "She is." —• The Boston Herald. Another Enterprising Lawyer. — A Texas lawyer adds the following to his professional card: "Correspondence solicited in English, Ger man, French, and Spanish. "Notary Public County. "Cable address "Storage, Insurance, Real Estate, Foreign Banking, Steamship, Manufacturers' and Ship pers' Agent. "Sells Cabin and Steerage Tickets over the following S.S. Lines: American Line, Compagnie Ge'ne'rale Transatlantique, Netherland American S.S. Co., New York & Texas S.S. Co., Norddeutcher Lloyd and Red Star Line; also sell Railroad Tickets over the Southern Pacific in connection with European S.S. Tickets. Exchange sold on any part of the World and Money transfers made at low rates. "If you need any OIL, COAL, BRICKS, LUMBER, SHINGLES, WALL PAPER, MACHINERY, write to me for prices." — Case and Comment. Curious Claims. — When the newspaper man walked into the local agent's office, the agent said : "What do you think of that for a claim," picking up a paper from a pile on his desk. The newspaper man asked for information. "Well, it was this way," was the reply. "A lady called at the office of a physician to have her eyes examined. The light wasn't quite right and the doctor gave her an um brella to hold over her head while he surveyed her optics. She brought the open umbrella in contact with a gas-jet and burned a hole in it. Here's a claim for damage to office fur nishings, 81.50." "The only one I know that beats it," con tinued the agent, " is the story of the woman who left a roast of beef in the oven and went

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out to talk to a neighbor over the fence. When she returned the meat was burned to a crisp. She put in a claim for a fire loss on eight bounds of beef. But that wasn't my office, and I can't swear to the truth of it. The umbrella claim, however, is straight goods." — Investigator. Real Evidence. — This is why one New York lawyer believes that it is possible for a man to testify to what is not the fact and still be an honest and upright citizen. His father is a man well-known and prominent beyond the circle of his business and social acquaintances, and his financial standing is such that his transactions involve thousands where most of us handle dollars. Some months ago this elder gentleman, on a sur face car, failed to produce a transfer check when the conductor called for it. He said in explanation that there was no transferman at the proper place and he quietly, but firmly, declined to pay his fare' under such circumstances. The conductor talked to him as conductors in New York have been known to talk under provocation, threatened to put him off, to call a policeman, and much more, but except a promise of being reported for insolence he got nothing more. Finally a policeman boarded the car, and the con ductor appealed to him. The policeman, after one look at the passenger, made a few suggestions to the conductor, the substance of which was that he had better let that particular old gentleman alone, and that if that man said anything was so, it was so, as was well known to New Yorkers generally. That was the end of it as far as the conductors' efforts were concerned. The passenger, how ever, was thoroughly angry and after dinner sat down in his library and wrote a long letter to the president of the road, who was a warm personal friend, informing him how passengers on his road were treated by his employees. He put this letter in his pocket and, still indignant, went out to post it with his own hands. Reaching the box, he pulled out the letter, and with it came the transfer check. Monuments of Title. — During the early construction period of the Wachusett reser voir in the towns of Clinton, Boylston, and