Page:Sylvester Sound the Somnambulist (1844).djvu/424

"But, my lord," said the reverend gentleman, addressing the bench.

"Mr. Rouse," interposed Mr. Slashinger, "you have given your evidence very clearly. You have not the slightest doubt of his being a somnambulist, but you do not feel justified in swearing that he is one, seeing that you have never exactly discovered him in a state of somnambulism."

"Exactly. That's what I mean. Exactly."

"Very good."

The reverend gentleman then left the box, but he was not by any means satisfied.

This being the case for the defendant, Mr. Charles Phillpots rose to reply.

"In all my experience, gentlemen," said he; "I never met with anything more absurd than this defence. It is the most ridiculous on record. Somnambulism! Let us but once admit this plea, and we may shut up every court of justice in the empire. A man may seduce your wife, and plead somnambulism: he may ruin your daughters, and plead somnambulism: he may pick your pocket, and plead somnambulism: he may knock you down, and plead somnambulism: he may even murder you, and plead somnambulism: nay, there's nothing which he could do, that he might not do, and put in the plea of somnambulism. Can my learned friend produce any witness to prove that his client was in a state of somnambulism when he left Lady Julian's chamber? No! Somnambulism, indeed! The idea is preposterous! Suppose that either of you gentlemen, on going home to-night, were to find a man in your chamber: what would you think of his plea of somnambulism? Suppose that, on your way home, a fellow were to stop you, and rob you of your watch, what would you think of his plea of somnambulism? Suppose that I were to say that I thought you sufficiently foolish to entertain such an absurdity, what would you say to my plea of somnambulism? Somnambulism, forsooth! Why, there isn't a crime under heaven that might not be committed with absolute impunity, if once we admitted, in justification, the monstrous plea of somnambulism. Repudiate it, gentlemen, with scorn. Treat it with the contempt it so richly deserves. I am amazed that, in this enlightened age—in the middle of the nineteenth century—and in a country boasting, and justly too, its high and refined state of civilisation—such an absurd, such a perfectly ridiculous plea, as that of somnambulism, should have been entered. Why, gentlemen, it must be imagined that you are idiots—if, indeed, it be imagined that you are capable of entertaining such a vile plea as this! Repudiate it, gentlemen, indignantly. Look to the plaintiff, whose heart's dearest treasure has been stolen from him by the insidious arts of this somnambulist, and give exemplary damages, convinced, as you must be, that he has been abused, and that his relief must be to loathe her!"

His lordship then briefly summed up, and the jury, without retiring, returned a verdict for the Plaintiff—Damages £2,000.