Page:Sylvester Sound the Somnambulist (1844).djvu/275

"Aye! What has all this about Peter the Great, Solomon, Moses, and Magna Charta, to do with our parson? What have the Russians to do with him, or the Frenchmen, or the Chinamen?"

"What are you so thickheaded, so pugnaciously stupid, as not to see that all this tends to show you the system?"

"What system?"

"What system! Why the system of extortion—the system of plunder—the fructifying system of downright dead robbery, which grinds the people's vitals into dust."

"But we wasn't a-talking about nothing of the sort. We was talking about a private marriage."

"Well, I know it. But can't you make your ideas fructify beyond one point of the compass? I know we were talking about Teddy Rouse being privately married in London; and just look you here———"

"Well, but what makes you think so?"

"What makes me think so? Why, can there exist two opinions about it? Didn't she sneak off to London; and didn't he go sneaking after her? Why didn't he take her up with him, like a man? They have come back together because it's all over; but why not do things in a straightforward way? It's disgusting to see a man like him—a man, paid as he is for teaching simplicity—go dodging about in that manner."

"But this is all guess-work, you know."

"Guess-work! Pokey, Pokey, when shall I get you to fructify your ideas a little?"

"Yours, I think fructify a little too much. You said when he went up, that he was going after his French girl, there—what's her name—Rosalie!"

"I know I did; and what does it prove? Why, that he'll run after every one he takes a fancy to. Depend upon it, Ted's not particular. None of them are. No one expects it in a parson. They're a clerical lot; and you know what I mean by the term clerical. I say, Quocks," he added, as that gentleman joined them, "did you see Teddy Rouse and his woman come in?"

"Teddy Rouse and his woman?" said Quocks. "What do you mean? I saw him set down Mrs. Sound at the cottage."

"He didn't take her then to the parsonage-house?" observed Pokey.

"The parsonage? No. Who said he did?"

"Drant says they're married!"

"Married! Rubbish. It isn't likely!"

"Why not?" demanded Obadiah.

"Why not! Do you think he'd have taken her to the cottage, and shaken hands, and left her there, and then driven home by himself if they'd been married?"

"Well, I was only taking a charitable view of the thing; because if they're not married they ought to be, that's all about it."

"What do you mean? I shouldn't mind well thrashing any man who says there's anything a mite wrong about Mrs. Sound. She's as straight as an arrow, I'll warrant!—right up and down, and no nonsense—not a mite."

"You know she's been to London?"