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court whom he imagined to be wise was the doctor; and yet the doctor, as will be seen, was, as far as the practices of penny-a-liners are concerned, one of the most ignorant men there!

It will be in all probability remembered that he gave one of these genuine "gentlemen of the press" two sovereigns for the suppression of Tom's evidence. Well! the doctor of course thought that it would be suppressed, and so did Tom; although he felt at the time, and strongly too, that those two sovereigns would have paid for a box of cigars, and innumerable pots of porter. The Standard, however, was no sooner in, than Tom saw the whole proceedings reported at length; and, with feelings of deep indignation, perceived that he, and he only, was ridiculed!

"A dice bad," said he, confidentially—"a very dice bad. I bust have adother idterview with you, by friedd—I bust, id fact, have that hodour id a very short tibe."

Having expressed that which he felt in these cabalistic terms, he rang the bell, and when James appeared, he said, with an air of mystery, "Jib, rud for the evedidg papers."

"The evening paper's in, sir," replied James promptly.

"What do you bead? Do you thidk I'b such a codsubbate ass as dot to kdow that the paper's id, whed I hold it id by hadd? I wadt the others the Globe, the Sud, add the Mood, if there be a Mood!"

"I shall have to go out with the carriage, sir, directly: the ladies are dressing for dinner."

"Dab the didder, Jib! Rud for the papers—bridg be the lot as sood as possible!"

James accordingly went for "the lot," and Tom again read the report in the Standard. He had previously conceived an idea that there must in reality be something peculiar in his style of pronunciation; but he had never before imagined that that peculiarity would appear so ridiculous in print. He read it aloud again and again, but as he pronounced his m's and his n's, he was really unable to detect anything wrong. The substituted b's and d's looked absurd enough, but in his ear they sounded all right.

"Bobus," said he—"Bobus. Well, that's correct! Bobus—dothidg cad be bore distidct thad Bobus! Add bed'cide. Well, bed'cide: what cad possibly be plaider thad bed'cide? I wod't have it!" he exclaimed; "it's a regular codspiracy—a dead take id!" And just as he had arrived at this conclusion, James returned with the Globe and the Sun.

"Well, Jib," he cried, "got 'eb?"

"Yes, sir. There are only two, sir, besides the one you have."

"Very well. Two are two too many. That'll do, Jib—that'll do."

James then left the room, and Tom very soon found that the reports in these papers were literally the same.

"Very good, Bister Reporter," said he, sarcastically."Very good. It strikes be I shall serve you out to-borrow! I dod't kdow exactly, add therefore I cad't say: but if I dod't get that buddy back, I'll do byself the pleasure of takidg it out. I'll see you to-borrow bordidg, you literary wretch! Here you are," he added, as the doctor entered the library—"here's the full chadge for your two sovereigds. All id!"