Page:Punch Vol 148.djvu/609

Sergeant (instructing in the use of respirators). "Squad! In—hale! Ex—pire!"

At the Ambassadors Theatre (bijou) there is a sort of intimate gaiety lacking in the larger Halls of Revue. One is reminded of the Follies, but rather regretfully. For though the company gives you "odds and ends" of fun there is little enough either of wit or humour in the words. A duller monologue than that of The Author (represented by Mr. Morris Harvey) in search of an Idea can seldom have been composed; though Mr. Grattan disarms criticism by his frank admission of hopeless vacuity.

A parody of something stupid should not only be stupid itself, but should reproduce the particular stupidity of the original. And Mr. Grattan's burlesque revues fulfil admirably these requirements. A smaller man might have been tempted to import some alien element of cleverness; but Mr. Grattan avoids this snare. His imitations are a triumph of banality. The trouble always is in these cases that some of the audience will insist on enjoying the banality on its own merits, mistaking it for a product of creative art. This is very unfair to the author, yet I do not think that Mr. Grattan resents it. He does not even mind your being distracted from the excellence of his imitations by the rival claims of the ladies who interpret them.

Apart from these burlesques, to which the best of the humour was contributed by Mr. Leon Morton, and the precocious little Miss Betty Balfour, whose aplomb is superb (I wish there had been more of it), we had the usual clever imitations of actors' voices, done in the dark, though that did not help me to recognise Mr. Arthur Bourchier's vocal methods; and an excellent scene of an Italian restaurant, where Miss Iris Hoey illustrated the commanding superiority of her sex when it comes to a question of securing the attentions of a waiting staff. In justice to the male with whom she competed it should be said that his test took place in a British tea-shop.

There was also a pretty scene from the crinoline period, and yet another burlesque, of melodrama this time, not too subtle. A good deal of Miss Alice Delysia met the eye in most of the trifles that went to make up the evening's medley. Altogether we amused ourselves very passably, and indeed I blame myself for not having laughed more. O. S.

German efforts to recover Hell 1915 in front of Neuville have failed."—Daily Chronicle.

They were more successful in Belgium, 1914.

The Secretary to the Treasury the taxation of War-profits, as reported by The Daily Mail:—

"The delay was due to the desire of the Treasury to devise a scheme which would take in everybody."

"We are officially informed that the President of the Board of Agriculture and Fisheries has appointed a Departmental Committee to consider and repor wha seps should be be taken, by legislation or otherwise, for the sole purpose of maintining and, if possible, increasing, the present production of food in England and Wales."—Daily Chronicle.

The Committee evidently have to face a considerable shortage of "t."

"More than a thousand Germans were boycotted, following an abuse of the white flag."

Yorkshire Evening Post.

We have an idea that this apparently mild punishment was quite effective, and that these particular Germans will not offend again.

"Reconstruction will be of a most drastic description. Unionists have been offered half seats, but the Cabinet will probably be smaller and will be really a War Council as departments not connected with war will be executed."—Indian Daily Telegraph.

Mr. Asquith, happily, did not find it necessary to be so drastic as that.