Page:Punch Vol 148.djvu/588

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PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
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gassing his former hosts and neighbours. M'Neill wants to know whether this property, with a valuable herd of cattle in the park, is preserved intact for the enemy owner, or whether its conveniences and resources are being utilized for war purposes?

Home Secretary, whose guileless appearance, remarkable in an Attorney-General, gave added point to his remark, said that the Public Trustee, who is administering these things in the national interest, informed him that there is no such herd of valuable cattle in the park as pictured by the fond fancy of The M'Neill.

"There are," he added, "four cows of the ordinary kind, and they are doing their utmost for the benefit of British subjects."

Business done.―Vote of Credit for 250 million agreed to without murmur.

Wednesday.―In debate on Vote of Credit Under-Secretary for War by remarkable statement added to mystery that broods over supply of Munitions of War. "There have," he said, been no cases of shortage of high explosive bombs since February. At present moment there is an ample supply with ample reserve."

Business done.―Vote of Credit passed Report Stage. Budget Bill nearly through Committee.

House of Lords, Thursday.―Lord Newton is a precious asset. Is accustomed at intervals too widely separated to enliven dull debate by sparkling speech, the brilliancy of its flashes of humour intensified by stony solemnity of countenance. A sound Party man, sure to be found in right Lobby when division in progress, he does not hesitate upon due occasion to gird at noble Lords on his own side, even though they be seated on one or other of the Front Benches.

Lansdowne never openly resented this freedom. Bided his time for making the retort courteous. It came with opportunity of nominating members of his following to a share of offices in Coalition Government.

He made Lord Newton Paymaster-General.

The little joke, excellent in conception, has its lamentable aspect, since henceforward the candid critic, seated on Ministerial Bench, will find himself tongue-tied. Pith of joke lies in circumstance that whilst Newton is dignified by name and office of Paymaster-General, suggesting lavish distribution of unlimited financial resources, he himself remains without a salary. By one of the incongruities of the British constitution the Paymaster-General is himself unpaid.

Possibly in extreme development of Communistic principles shewn in the pooling of Ministerial salaries the forlorn condition of the Paymaster-General may not have been overlooked. If anything has been done it is by voluntary contribution, not by State provision.

Business done.Lloyd George reappearing on Treasury Bench in new guise as Minister of Munitions loudly cheered from both sides. Progress in Committee with Civil Service Votes.



Love's Captives.

"A pretty local wedding was solemnised at ——— Parish Church yesterday.... Later Mr. and Mrs. ——— left for Cardiff en route for the Devonshire coast. Prisoners of War."

Pembroke County Guardian.

All, of course, is fair in Love and War, and this similarity may have led to a confusion between them on the part of the compositor.


Corrections to Indian Army Regulations, Medical, recently issued:―

"Para 17, page 5, line 17, add the following:―

An engagement is also terminated by the marriage of a lady nurse."

This putting of an end to betrothal is among the many regrettable effects of wedlock.


Ex-Policeman (finding Germans hiding in wood.) "Now then―pass along there, pass along!"