Page:Punch Vol 148.djvu/519
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PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
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Mrs. Henry Throgmorton. "Harry's getting on so well in the National Guard. They've made him a company promoter."
LADY TU-TI.
If you've moments to spare, will you spare me a few
While I make you acquainted with Tu-Ti (or Tu)?
With her mane, which is thick, and her waist, which is thin,
She derives from the bluest blue blood of Pekin,
And to those who would question her race she is able
To prove by her genealogical table,
Far beyond all the carpings of ignorant malice,
That her ancestors lived and were pets in a palace.
Please note as she sleeps on her favourite bed
That her muzzle is black and the rest of her red,
With a sleekness so sleek it were shame to have roughed it,
While her nose is turned up and her trousers are tufted.
While I make you acquainted with Tu-Ti (or Tu)?
With her mane, which is thick, and her waist, which is thin,
She derives from the bluest blue blood of Pekin,
And to those who would question her race she is able
To prove by her genealogical table,
Far beyond all the carpings of ignorant malice,
That her ancestors lived and were pets in a palace.
Please note as she sleeps on her favourite bed
That her muzzle is black and the rest of her red,
With a sleekness so sleek it were shame to have roughed it,
While her nose is turned up and her trousers are tufted.
Lo, she shakes off her slumber and stretches and seems
To emerge with regret from the country of dreams,
With a yawn so immense that you'd think I defied her
To see who could yawn it the pinker and wider.
To emerge with regret from the country of dreams,
With a yawn so immense that you'd think I defied her
To see who could yawn it the pinker and wider.
It is time for her walk, but, alas! she sets eyes on
Her harness and stands like a miniature bison,
A rebuke to the humans who foolishly tether
The soul and the legs of a lady with leather.
Her harness and stands like a miniature bison,
A rebuke to the humans who foolishly tether
The soul and the legs of a lady with leather.
But at last she submits, and her footfall is fleet
As Her Daintiness skims through the crowds in the street.
She's as light as the air and as gay as a lark,
Being bound for the freedom and joy of the Park.
As Her Daintiness skims through the crowds in the street.
She's as light as the air and as gay as a lark,
Being bound for the freedom and joy of the Park.
"Ho, bring me the Round Pond this very same minute,"
She cries, and she tugs at her lead and is in it;
And I'm bound to confess, though she's dry as a clinker,
It's a very large drink for a very small drinker.
She cries, and she tugs at her lead and is in it;
And I'm bound to confess, though she's dry as a clinker,
It's a very large drink for a very small drinker.
We have all of us faults; even Tu has her failings,
Such as leaving her home through the area railings.
Recaptured and rated she proves her contrition
By assuming a pose of the meekest submission.
Her conviction of sin isn't open to doubt;
She repents most sincerely of being found out.
Such as leaving her home through the area railings.
Recaptured and rated she proves her contrition
By assuming a pose of the meekest submission.
Her conviction of sin isn't open to doubt;
She repents most sincerely of being found out.
Though her learning is scanty in Greek or in Latin,
There are tricks not a few she is perfectly pat in.
Hold your stick off the ground, half a yard or so from it,
And lo, with a rush of a fiery-tailed comet,
Inspired with pure rapture and eager to dare,
She has cleared the great fence without turning a hair.
There are tricks not a few she is perfectly pat in.
Hold your stick off the ground, half a yard or so from it,
And lo, with a rush of a fiery-tailed comet,
Inspired with pure rapture and eager to dare,
She has cleared the great fence without turning a hair.
She can die for her country, her King and her brothers,
While she keeps an eye open for Germans and others.
While she keeps an eye open for Germans and others.
Fascination's her forte; she's aware how it tells,
So she sits up on end and starts weaving her spells;
And she never gives up till you pay the magician
With a store of tit-bits as an aid to nutrition.
So she sits up on end and starts weaving her spells;
And she never gives up till you pay the magician
With a store of tit-bits as an aid to nutrition.
Did you notice—I did—in The Pekinese Times
An announcement deserving of pictures and rhymes?
"In her basket," it said, and I read it with joy,
"Lady Tu-Ti of twin-pups, a girl and a boy."
R. C. L.
An announcement deserving of pictures and rhymes?
"In her basket," it said, and I read it with joy,
"Lady Tu-Ti of twin-pups, a girl and a boy."
R. C. L.
"Boxers (Experienced female) wanted."—Daily Chronicle.
Bombardier Wells is stated to have rejoined the army, and his brother-pugilists should now have no hesitation in following his lead, since there are experienced ladies ready to fill their places in the ring.