Page:Punch Vol 148.djvu/467
ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
(Extracted from the Diary of Toby, M.P.)
House of Commons, Tuesday, 4th of May.—Imperturbability of House of Commons amazing. Twelve months it listened to exposition of a Budget which estimated an expenditure of £197,493,000, and counted upon a pleasing surplus of three-quarters of a million. After a period of eight months of War it learns that at end of financial year expenditure has run up to £560,474,000, leaving Chancellor of Exchequer faced by deficit of £333,780,000. Hears this startling story with as little sign of emotion as was displayed when it listened to the earlier one. It did not blench when the Chancellor incidentally mentioned that average daily cost of the War now amounts to £2,100,000. If it ends in September the aggregate would reach £786,778,000. If it runs on to April next it would exceed eleven hundred millions sterling!

David (to the Philistine): "Look here, old man. I should hate to be the cause of any unpleasantness. Why not approach me as a deputation and talk things over?"
This stupendous sum, never before mentioned by matter-of-fact Chancellor of Exchequer, seems more appropriate to the Budget of Wonderland. House this afternoon quietly recognised it as an actuality that must be faced. Resolved that, at whatever personal sacrifice, money must be provided.
Attendance, though full, not comparable with number accustomed to gather on ordinary Budget nights. Apart from absence of Members on active service, House just now fed up with Budgets. Time was when we had them once a year. Once a quarter is now nearer the mark. Last November one presented in supplement of the customary spring cleaning of the Exchequer. Another last week in connection with Drink Duties. And to-day "Here we are again," as the Chancellor of Exchequer might say, were he in merry mood. Nor is this all. There is promise of another within six months when, as Chancellor puts it, we shall be in better position to judge of duration of War.
A sprinkling of Members faced him from side gallery. They might, had they pleased, have found seats below. A few Peers dropped in. In the Distinguished Strangers' Gallery Ranji looked on with the judicial air of an umpire at Lord's. When Chancellor mentioned cost of eight months' War he murmured, "What a score! £560,474,000 and not out—of the wood yet."

1914 Peace Budget. The Fighting Cocks.
1915 War Budget. The Love Birds.
Throughout exposition, brief for such occasion, there was little of the laughter or cheering that usually punctuates a Budget speech. Exception made when, in opening sentence, Chancellor remarked that "the operations of the coming Summer will alone enable us to form a dependable opinion-not as to the ultimate issue of the War, because that is not in doubt—but as to its duration."
Sharing this conviction of certain if delayed victory House not disposed to waste time in talk. By ten minutes to nine formal Resolution passed without division, practically without criticism.
Business done.—Budget introduced.
Wednesday.—In both Houses talk of treatment of thirty-nine British prisoners in Germany, carefully selected in order to have practised upon them reprisals for alleged ill-treatment of officers and crew of German submarines guilty of murderous practices on the high seas and interned in this country. In the Lords the Earl of Albemarle broached the subject. Profound sympathy manifested towards him by those who knew that one of the victims of German insensate hate is his son. In the Commons Lord Robert Cecil, on motion for adjournment, questioned Premier.
Squalid story simply told in letters from the victims read by both noble Lords. One, dated April 13th, and written from a convict prison, tells how "we are locked in cells 12 feet by 6 feet [just the size of a billiard-table]. We are not allowed to speak to each other. A bowl with a little coffee in it forms our breakfast, and a mixture of potatoes and meat our lunch. At 2.45 we walk in a tiny little yard, about 20 yards long, for about three-quarters of an hour."
Difficulty of dealing with the matter obvious. If the jailers of these gallant fellows were Red Indians or Zulus they might be made amenable to dictates of common humanity. But, as Premier said, "maltreatment of prisoners of war, a form of cruelty common not even in the Dark Ages, has been left, as many other fiendish devices in this great War have been left, to one of the Christian nations of Europe to invent and elaborate."
He repeated assurance that note is made and record carefully kept, with view to meting out at conclusion of the War due punishment