Page:Punch Vol 148.djvu/449
Registrar of Women Workers. "What can I do for you?"
Applicant. "You probably want a forewoman: somebody who is used to giving orders and words of command. I've brought my husband to speak for me."
FOR DARTYMOOR.
Grim Dartymoor, grey Dartymoor;
I come vrom wur there bain't no war,
An' Tavy be a-voaming;
I'd pigs an' sheep an' lass—Aw my!
The beyootifullest wench 'er be!
An' one vine day 'er comes to I,
An' zays "My Jan," 'er zays,—lukee!
To France yu must be roaming!
Vur Devon needs her sons again;
Her du be rousing moor an' fen;
An' yu must fight wi' Devon men
Vur Dartymoor, your Dartymoor!"
Grim Dartymoor, grey Dartymoor?
Why, lass," I zays, "whativer vor,
While Tavy be a-voaming?
While pigs be pigs, an' 'earts be true;
An' market prices purty vair;
Why should 'un go an' parley-voo?"
'Er zays, "'Cuz yu be waanted there!
Thet's why yu must be roaming!
Vur Devon needs her sons again;
Her du be rousing moor an' fen;
An' yu must fight wi' Devon men
Vur Dartymoor; my Dartymoor!
Grim Dartymoor, grey Dartymoor,
Things shall be as they wur avore
Us courted in the gloaming!"
'Er zays, an' left me arl alone,
A-thinking over what 'er zaid,
Till arl was plain as Dewar Stone—
I zays to Dad, "Mind pigs is fed,
While I be gone a-roaming!
Vur Devon needs her sons again;
Her du be rousing moor an' fen;
An' I must fight wi' Devon men
Vur Dartymoor, our Dartymoor!"
A Patriotic Criminal.
From a list of recruits in a Welsh parish magazine:—
"George ———, Burglar, 'Pals' Regt."
More German Piracy.
"Para el Domingo en la tarde se anuncia la festiva comedia alemana 'Charley S'Tuntt' (sic)."—El Diario Ilustrado (Chile).
We are accustomed to the Germans claiming Shakspeare's plays as part of their national drama,but when they try to annex the late Mr. Brandon Thomas's masterpiece it is time to register a protest.
A RIGHTEOUS PROTEST.
The Imperial Person beckoned to the General to approach.
"Have you blown up the Cathedral?"
"Yes, Sire."
"And bayoneted the wounded?"
"Yes, Sire."
"And shot all the women and old men and children?"
"Yes, Sire."
"And made arrangements for tomorrow for the white flag ambush?"
"Yes, Sire."
"And for the issue of dum-dum bullets?"
"Yes, Sire."
"And of asphyxiating gases?"
"Yes, Sire."
"Then you had better get on with the report to the Neutral Powers protesting against breaches of the Hague Convention by the Enemy.”
A Mare's Nest?
"Births.
Clark.—On April 19th, at Little Gaddesdon Rectory, Berkhamsted, the wife of the Rev. Edward's Horse, aged 23."—Herts Advertiser.