Page:Punch Vol 148.djvu/423

Lady Customer. "Yes, this is better weather now. Some people think all the rain we had a little time ago was caused by the firing of heavy guns in Belgium."

Dressfitter. "I don't see how that can be, Madam, for I remember we mostly had very fine weather during the South African War."

"This is incomparably the finest book on War that has yet been published. Mr. MacLuskin is a master of his instrument and plays upon the public like an old fiddle."—Daily Muse.

"This is a far better book than the best of us deserve. With insight and tenderness and courage Mr. Tosher has written a work which will live for ever and even longer."—Mr. Twisterton in The Daily Par."

"An arresting volume. This sandwichman will go far. Dostoievsky might have been proud to have written the chapter on the Sam Browne belt."—The Prattler.

"A soul-shaking book."—The Daily Grouser.

"The finest book that Mrs. Stote has yet written. Replete with luscious imagery and relentless realism. I have already given away ten copies to my friends. Mrs. Stote is the American Pushkin."—Clement Longmire in "The Orb."

If W. Hohenzollern, said to be a Professor of the Mailed Fist, will apply to Enver and Co., Queer Street, Constantinople, he will hear of something.

{rule}}

Wilhelm or Wilhelmina.—Will all with these names send their contributions as soon as possible so that more unarmed British may be sunk by our submarines? The need is great as the Enemy Merchant Service at present shows hardly any sign of being affected by our frightfulness.

Advertiser who, at beginning of War, purchased number of Ticklers with which to celebrate victories in streets of Vienna, would be prepared to sacrifice for low cash figure. A number of flags, also other bunting, for sale at clearance prices.

Gentleman, whose views on politics, etc., are well-known on 9.15 Surbiton-Waterloo, seeks greater scope. Would be prepared to take over general managership of Government business (as per speech of Chancellor) if conditions satisfactory.

Zeppelins for British-fed Poultry. Our Staff undertakes these painless extinctions.—Kaiser and Co., Family Butchers.

Woodrow Wilson's Soothers act like a charm. German friends should try one on the tongue at Hate time.

Inscription on a shop-window in Birmingham:—

"Ici on parle français un peu."