Page:Punch Vol 148.djvu/311

Halil Bey, President of the Turkish Chamber, has informed an interviewer, "The attack on the Dardanelles leaves us cold in Constantinople." Of course our idea was that it should have a chilling effect.

It is really very handsome of Mr. Lyon to take the responsibility upon himself when everyone else was blaming the weather.

A German airman last week dropped several bombs off Deal, but failed to do any permanent damage to the sea, the holes being closed up almost immediately.

From a description of the recent raid on Calais:―"As the Zeppelin drew farther away the firing gradually diminished." This, we believe, is in accordance with the best military precepts.

A German comic paper publishes a drawing of "Admiral John Bull" surrounded by a horde of submarines, and saying, "I suddenly see rats." The German submarines, we take it, are called rats because they leave sinking ships.

The following rhapsody appeared in a recent issue of the Kölnische Zeitung:―"The German hymn 'Deutschland über Alles' is the loftiest, the noblest, the most elevating, the manliest, the most inspiring, the most tuneful, the grandest, the most poetical and glorious song that has ever welled forth from human breast. It is divine, as is the origin of the people for whom it was composed." The Kölnische Zeitung may now fairly be called a pro-German paper.

Mr. Max Pemberton has been discussing the question whether the War will hurt religion. There seems to be a general feeling that the religion of Odin will be rather badly hit.

According to the Figaro, the Kaiser has a double. This explains the popular belief that he is beside himself.

Indeed, Mr. Arnold White has recently published a book to prove that the Kaiser is mad. We gather, however, that this must be a comparatively recent affliction, for it is stated in an article in The Sunday Pictorial that His Imperial Majesty once granted an interview to Mr. White.

This gives one a vivid idea of the wealth of our country. German papers please note.

It is stated that, owing to the principal osier beds from which wicker canes are obtained being in Belgium, there is a marked shortage of cradles. This is serious, as children may hesitate to be born.

It is interesting to learn from the current number of The Author that there is something in the popular belief that authors write their own books and not each other's. Messrs. Methuen, our contemporary informs us, have published "Mrs. Stanley Wrench's new novel Lily Louisa, by Mrs. Stanley Wrench."

Desperate Scout. "Please, Sir, do you happen to have such a thing as a periscope about you?"

From a confectioner's handbill:―

"Meat Pies (fresh daily) a Speciality. Parties catered for and neatly executed."

Even the Germans have not gone beyond this.

{{blockquote| "In the hedgerows precious primroses mildly gleamed; on the waving branches of the trees birds could be seen ready to burst. Some at least have bursted―on the elders especially."

This is, we fear, the regrettable result of overfeeding, and, if so, the elders (parents, we presume) have only themselves to blame for the disagreeable consequences.

"Prince August Wilhelm recently underwent a slight throat operation at Clini Que, near Berlin. His condition is described as satisfactory."―Glasgow Evening Times.

We understand that the Prince will presently leave Clini Que, near Berlin, for the fresher air and livelier surroundings of Point d'Appui, in the North of France.

From a letter in The Edinburgh Evening Dispatch:―

"I had the pleasure of observing the beautiful meteorite on the evening of 9th March, walking eastwards.

I would see it for at least four seconds, and its velocity was somewhat slow."

Naturally, if it was walking. This case of pedestrian exercise on the part of a heavenly body is not unique. We all remember Tennyson's description of Orion, "Sloping slowly to the west."

"The 'Telegraaf' learns that one of the Prussian railway administrations recently sent a notice to all goods stations saying that the quantity of goods sent by combatants to their families at home has assumed such proportions that now and then suspicious have arisen that the packages contain illegally acquired war-booty or private property illegally seized in a hostile country, especially if the rank and social standing of the senders do not justify the supposition that the senders are men of means."

Reuter.

It was of course fully justified in the case of the Crown Prince, who is quite well off.

"After being suspended during St. Patrick's Day County Court Judge Drummond resumed the civil cases on Thursday."

King's County Chronicle.

The Ideals of the Prophets: Sermons. By the late Canon S. R. Driver.

The Next Life. By the Rev. J. Reid Howatt.

Napoleon III. and the Women he Loved. By Hector Fleischmann."

The Glasgow Herald.

We should have preferred to see the last of these books classified under "Various."