Page:Punch Vol 148.djvu/303
HOW HISTORY ANTICIPATES ITSELF.
Sister Sophie sewing shirts for Nessus.
ONE OF OUR CANDID FRIENDS.
[In The Boston News Bureau, a daily paper, Rear Admiral Francis Tiffany Bowles, formerly Chief Constructor of the American Navy, who has recently travelled throughout Germany, has stated his belief that Germany will win. He adds: "The probable situation is that all the Allies are now ready to quit, and that means not only France and Russia but England; that Germany is ready to make peace with Russia and France, but never with England. The possible consequences of such a situation areecasily discernible, and merit the most serious consideration by the people of the United States. The chance of a successful invasion of England cannot be lightly dismissed."]
You've written a wonderful screed
For the good, no doubt, of the souls
Of the men of the British breed.
You've studied the Fatherland
Exhaustively from within,
And your statement affirms in the plainest of terms
That Germany will win.
Or so as least I learn―
So far as our own fate goes,
With singular unconcern;
But the thought that it may react
In time on the U.S.A.
Appears to impart to your sensitive heart
A certain amount of dismay.
As much as you goldarn please,
And hold she will win at length
The mastery of the seas;
But when you go on to assert
That we're "ready to quit," by goles,
You're talking rot and the thing that is not,
Admiral Tiffany Bowles.
Comforts for the Troops.
"Madame Tussaud's Exhibition.―Beautifully illuminated. Well warmed and Ventilated Heroes of the War."
Advt. in "The Times."
"It is quite feasible that more than one submarine has the same number. The result of this would be that an exaggerated idea of the possibilities of the under-water craft would be gained, since, for instance, the U 21 may be seen in the English Channel one day and in the English Channel almost immediately afterwards, or even at about the same time."
Liverpool Echo.
Even without this duplicity the feat does not appear insuperably difficult.
Has anyone seen our Provost?
"Help for Gallant Little Serbia
Flag Day, Glasgow, Saturday, 27th March.Under the patronage of the Rt. Hon. the Lost Provost and Magistrates of Glasgow."
Glasgow Daily Record.
"The only object of Prince von Buelow's remarks is to make the Italian Government believe that there still remains a possibility of diplomatic your-parlers being satisfactory."
Glasgow News.
Prince von Bülow. Will my walk into my parlour?
Signor Salandra. Thank you, wo have had quite enough of your-parlers.
From a Daily News' description of "a town in France":―
"LUXURIES AS USUAL.
The fool supply is for all essential purposes unaffected."
It is the same with the German supply of Court jesters.
"At Findon on Wednesday morning the Grand National Candidate, Irish Mail, cantered a mile twice, and will probably do a good gallon on Thursday."
Gloucester Citizen.
This sounds like "doping," but perhaps Irish Mail is training for a "pint to pint."