Page:Punch Vol 148.djvu/300
MORE PEOPLE WE SHOULD LIKE TO SEE INTERNED.
"Well, we'll bring the car to-morrow, and take some of your patients for a drive. And, by-the-by, Nurse, you might look out some with bandages that show―the last party might not have been wounded at all, as far as anybody in the streets could see."
THE NORTH SEA GROUND.
An' Grimsby wives are thrifty wives, an' Grimsby girls are kind,
An' Grimsby lads were never yet the lads to lag behind
When there's men's work doin' on the North Sea ground.
An' off the misty waters a cold wind blowin';
Skipper's come aboard, an' it's time that we were goin',
An' there's fine fish waitin' on the North Sea ground.
Cod on the Dogger―oh, we'll fetch 'em by-an'-by;
War on the water―an' it's time to serve an' die,
For there's wild work doin' on the North Sea ground.
(With your long sea-boots and your tarry old tarpaulin');
All across the bitter seas duty comes a-callin'
In the Winter's weather off the North Sea ground.
It's well we've shaken hands with death―we'll not be strangers now,
With death in every climbin' wave before the trawler's bow,
An' the black spawn swimmin' on the North Sea ground.
Good luck to our brave merchantmen wherever they may be;
The sea it is their highway, an' we've got to sweep it free
For the ships passin' over on the North Sea ground.
"Time an' time to go where the herrin' gulls are flyin';
An' down below the stormy seas the dead men lyin',
Oh, the dead lying quiet on the North Sea ground!
CLUB CHANGES.
Drastic Economies.
At the Plutomobile Club it has been decided to import 500 Peruvian waiters. At a general meeting of the Club held last week a motion was passed by a small majority permitting the smoking of pipes after 12 P.M. and sanctioning the introduction of 6d. cigars. We understand that the performances of the Blue Bessarabian Band in the great porcelain swimming bath have been temporarily suspended.
A remarkable innovation is to be introduced at the Lantern Lectures which are so welcome a feature at the Benedicks' Club. It has been resolved to accept the offer of several distressed dowager peeresses to serve tea without wages, the "tips" being left to the discretion of the members.
The tariff of the Caviare Club has recently undergone substantial alterations. The price of the house-dinner is now reduced to 15s. a head and champagne is no longer de rigueur. On the other hand an attempt to sanction the introduction of barley-water and cocoa nibs has been heavily defeated.
Visitors to the National Democratic Club cannot fail to notice the altered appearance of that famous caravanserai. The marble walls and staircases have all been whitewashed to discourage ostentation and promote moral uplift.