Page:Punch Vol 148.djvu/283

House of Commons, Monday, 8th March.—Useful conversation about Donington Hall. Circumstantial report has transformed this long-uninhabited mansion, a sort of Bleak House in its locality, into a stately country residence, sumptuously furnished for the convenience and comfort of captive German officers, with suitable accommodation for their body-servants. Righteous indignation among patriots, who contrast this treatment not only with what our missing officers suffer in German prisons, but with accommodation provided at our home barracks.

Tennant read plain statement, showing that only necessary repairs to a dilapidated mansion had been undertaken. As to lavishness of interior arrangements he drew graphic picture of the captives each with a strip of cheap carpet by his bed, a plain washstand, half a cheap chest-of-drawers, and rather less floor space than is allowed per man in the barrack-room in peace time.

"It's the name of the house that's accountable for all this fuss," says the Member for Sark. "Reminds me of an old story about W. S. Gilbert. One night at the Club an ex-City official of pompous habits, desiring to impress the company with due sense of his importance, took occasion incidentally to mention that his country address was Dove Court, Chislehurst (Dove wasn't his family name, but will serve.)

"'Dove Court,' cried GILBERT, pricking up his ears with feigned interest, 'what number?'

"If Donington Hall had been 15, 20 or any number you like in any street that occurs to you there would have been none of this fuss."

Business done.—Several emergency Bills advanced a stage.

Tuesday.—Can hardly be said that Rees treated his audience very well. Didn't mean anything rude; probably unconscious of offence. Novertheless there it was, and may for months rankle in an honest bosom.

As things often do in House of Commons it fell out unexpectedly. At close of busy sitting adjournment moved a little before nine o'clock. In ordinary course motion would have been accepted and shutters forthwith put up. Rees, however, had prepared a short paper on contingency of further increase of taxation upon liquor, and meant to read it. Was master of situation since—to serve for blood-letting of Members threatened with vertigo owing to rush of words to the head—an hour must, if insisted on, elapse between the motion for adjournment and its being carried into effect.

The interval is at the service of any Member or group of Members who want to talk on miscellaneous matters.

But you can't compel other Members to stay and listen. Accordingly, when Rees got up on his legs Members incontinently took to theirs. Only Acland, sole representative of the Government, Casabianca of House of Commons, remained on the benches whence all but he had fled. Even Speaker had withdrawn, leaving his Deputy to see the thing out from the Chair. Nothing daunted, Rees proceeded to discourse about potential iniquity_on part of absent Chancellor of Exchequer, whom he shrewdly suspected of intent to screw another penny out of the publican. There was a sound of revelry at the outer door where group of Members gathered.

"Time! time!" they called.

"Speak up!" one shouted.

Rees ignored the ribaldry. His audience sat attentive. Deputy-Speaker looked anxiously at the clock. This sort of thing might go on for another three-quarters of an hour. Hoped the Speaker was having a good