Page:Modern Japanese Stories.pdf/128

refusal on her part impossible, and set down, whether she liked it or not, to serve a great and powerful daimyō, she had no choice but to act as she did. Her last chance of escape from the misery of her present situation lay in doing everything she conceivably could to win the affection of that powerful person who controlled her fate.

But it was not only this woman whose love Lord Tadanao now questioned. He began to wonder whether any single woman, amongst all those others he had loved in all his life, had ever loved him in return.

He had lately become increasingly aware that throughout his life he had been denied the normal, everyday sympathy which men feel for their fellow beings.

He had never even known the sympathy extended to a friend. From his childhood days numbers of page boys of his own age had been selected to keep him company. But they had not associated with Lord Tadanao as friends. They had merely offered submission. Lord Tadanao had loved them. But they had never returned that love. They had been merely submissive, from a high sense of duty.

And what, if this was the nature of his friendship, was he to think of his relationship with the opposite sex? Since early youth he had had about him, at his disposal, many beautiful women. Lord Tadanao had loved them. But how many had loved him back? Though Lord Tadanao had given them love they had not offered love in return. They had merely offered him their submission. Just that. He had still about him, in his service, a large number of these human creatures. But, in place of human feelings for a fellow human, they offered only that one thing—submission.

It had become clear to Lord Tadanao that he received submission as a substitute for love, submission for friendship, and submission for kindness. Of course, there might have been cases, somewhere in the midst of all this, of true love based on human feeling, of true friendship, and of sincere kindness. But these, as Lord Tadanao tried to recall them in his present