Page:Journal of Conversations with Lord Byron.pdf/117

Equivocations, and the thoughts which dwell
In Janus-spirits the significant eye
Which learns to lie with silence-the pretext
Of Prudence, with advantages annex'd -
The acquiescence in all things which tend,
No matter how, to the desired end -
All found a place in thy philosophy.
The means were worthy, and the end is won -
I would not do by thee as thou hast done!

It is evident that Lady Byron occupies his attention continually; he introduces her name frequently; is fond of recurring to the brief period of their living together; dwells with complacency on her personal attractions, saying that though not regularly handsome, he liked her looks. He is very inquisitive about her; was much disappointed that I had never seen her, nor could give any account of her appearance at present. In short, a thousand indescribable circumstances have left the impresssion on my mind that she occupies much of his thoughts, and that they appear to revert continually to her and his child. He owned to me, that when he reflected on the whole tenor of her conduct - the refusing any explanation - never answering his letters, or holding out even a hope that in future years their child might form a bond of union between them, he felt exasperated against her, and vented this feeling in his writings; nay more, he blushed for his own weakness in thinking so often and so