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CHAPTER
XXXIV
Acatn Pat was happy in her engagement.
She fre,
quently and insistently assured herself that she was. Certainly she had no just complaint of Monty. He was all
that a lover should be when they were together; he kept to his pact and never in any manner referred to Pat’s confession. But when he was away she sometimes wished that he wouldn’t write so often, or, at least, expect her
to answer so regularly. His letters added nothing to his charm. They innocently bristled with I’s; but it was the monotony rather than the egotism of his style that annoyed her. Her answers, at first ardent, vivid and flashing like herself, soon became mere chronicles of petty events, interspersed with protestations of love. They were temporarily genuine enough, these latter, since each time he was with her she was re-warmed in the glow of their mutual passion. But she could not stifle all misgivings. Incompetent though she was to analyse comprehensively her changeful emotions, she nevertheless had disturbing gleams of selfknowledge which added nothing to her confidence in a future whereof Monty Standish was to be a large part. Pat dimly recognised herself for that difficult and composite type of girlhood which, though imperatively sexed, will never fulfill itself through physical attraction and physical satisfactions alone. For such as she there must be the double response; if the mating be not both mentally and physically sufficient, ultimate disaster is inevitable, Brooding upon these self-suspicions she would fall inte moods of silence and withdrawal puzzling to the matter-
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