Page:Essays, Vol 4 (Ives, 1925).pdf/33
BOOK III, CHAPTER V 21 Et mihi dulce magis resoluto vivere collo.*
According to my own purpose | should have shunned marrying Wisdom herself, if she would have had me; but say what we may, custom and the usage of ordinary life carry us along. Most of my acts are guided by example, not by choice. As it was, I did not enter into it exactly by my own invitation: I was led to it by others and carried to it by external opportunities; for not only merely desirable things, but things most ill-favoured and imperfect and to be avoided, may become acceptable from some condition or cir- cumstance, so feeble is man’s attitude. And I came certainly more ill-prepared at that time, and more reluctant than | am now, after I have tested it; and, libertine as I am thought to be, I have in fact observed the laws of marriage more strictly than I have either promised or hoped to do. It is no longer the time to kick when a man has allowed himself to be hobbled; one should prudently care for his liberty; but when he has submitted to bondage, he must obey the laws of com- mon duty — or at least strive todo so. They who enter into this bargain only to bear themselves therein with hatred and contempt act unjustly and unsuitably; and this fine precept which I see passing from hand to hand among women, like a sacred oracle, — “Treat thy husband as thy master and beware of him as of a traitor,” — which means, bear yourself toward him with a constrained, hostile, and distrustful deference, a war-cry of defiance, — is equally in- sulting and impossible. I am of too mild a nature for such thorny intentions. To tell the truth, I have not yet at- tained such perfection of mental ability and agility as to confound reasonableness with injustice, and to turn into ridicule all order and rule that does not please my appetite; because I detest superstition, I do not forthwith fling myself into irreligion. If a man does not always do his duty, he should at least always love it and recognise it. (c) It is treachery to marry without wedding. (4) Let us continue.
Nostre poéte represente un mariage plein d’accord et de bonne convenance, auquel pourtant il n’y a pas beaucoup
1 And it is sweeter to me to live with my neck unyoked, — Maxi- mianus (Pseudo-Gallus), I, 61.
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