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was nigh to tootin' right over me, only I jumped in the nick o' time, an' it went over my overshoe an' split the heel open. I can assure you I was glad I was wearin' father's overshoes, as can come off so easy, when I saw the split heel; an' them men was as polite 's could be, churned backward right off, an' settled with me fer a quarter. I can easy sew up the heel myself, so I went on down-town feelin' pretty good. There ain't many things about me 't I can sew up as I wouldn't split fer a quarter any day. The automobile went on ahead, an' by the time I got to the square it had had time to nm down the minister.
"He was crossin' from Mr. Kimball's to Mr. Dill's, an' stopped short fer fear it 'u'd run over him. Not knowin' the minister's make-up, they'd calc'lated on his goin' on when he see a' automobile comin'; an' so it was all over him in a jiffy. I don' know what his wife 'll ever say, fer his hat is completely bu'st. However, they settled with him—hat, feelin's, an' all—for ten dollars, an' he went on over to Mr. Dill's. I said 't if I was his wife I'd anchor him in the middle o' the square an' let automobiles run up an' down him all day long at that price. I said it to Mrs. Craig; she come up to ask me 'f it was really true about you an' the deacon. She says no one can believe it o' the deacon. She says Mr. Jilkins was in town last night, an' he was very mad when he heard of it. He thinks it's a reflection. He says folks 'll say it looks like his sister wasn't wife enough for one man. I told her nobody couldn't say nothin' about it 't I wouldn't agree to, considerin' your age an' his ears. I told her 't it didn't seem to me 's marryin' was anyways necessary to the business o' the world. If mother 'd never married, neither she nor me 'd ever 've had all them years o' work with father. She says this about you an' the deacon was stirrin' up the town a lot. She says there's a good deal o' bitter feelin'. Seems Mrs. Allen never charged him nothin' for his meals on account o' Polly, an' Gran'ma Mullins made him a whole set o' shirts for nothin' on account o' the nut an' the daguerre'type, an' Mrs. Macy did up all his currants fer nothin' on account o' herself. She says Mr. Kimball says he wonders what the deacon's a-expectin' to get out o' you.
"We went across to look at the automobile together. It was standin' still in front o' the drug-store, an' the men was in buyin' cigarettes an' gettin' their bottles filled. I guess half the community was standin' round lookin' at it an' discussin' it.
"It's a brand-new one, fer the price-tag's still hangin' on the back. Billy said it was a bargain, but it struck me 's pretty high. They had a wheel 's 'd come off hung on behind, an' nobody couldn't see where it'd come off of. Mr. Fisher got down an' crawled in underneath, an' while he was under there the men come out. They asked what Mr. Fisher was tryin' to do, an' when Billy told 'em, they laughed.
"They said that wheel was in case o' accidents. John Bunyan spoke right up an said, 'Why, does the accidents ever happen to the automobile?' An' the men laughed some more. Then they got in an' started to start, an' it wouldn't start. It snuffed an' chuffed to beat the band, but it wouldn't budge fer love nor money nor the man in goggles. He jerked an' twisted, an' then all of a sudden it run backward, an' went over Mr. Dill's dog 's was asleep in the way, an' into the lamp-post, an' bu'st the post off short. Well, you never see the beat! They wanted to settle the dog for the same 's the minister, but Mr. Dill wouldn't hear to it for a minute, 'cause he said his dog was worth suthin'. Judge Fitch come up an' said the town 'u'd want three dollars fer the lamp-post, an' they paid that, an' then they tried to arbitrate the dog; an' in the end Mr. Dill took eleven dollars an' fifteen cents, 'cause his collar's still good. Then they got into the automobile again an' twisted the crank the other way, an' it kited across the square an' right over Gran'ma Mullins. She was on her way to ask if it was true about you an' the deacon, an' it was plain's she wa'n't in no disposition to enjoy bein' run over by nothin'. I never see her so nigh to bein' real put out; an' even after they'd settled with her fer five dollars, she still didn't look a bit pleased or happy. Mrs. Craig an' me went with her into Mr. Shores' an' helped her straighten her bonnet an' take a drink o' water, an' then she said she s'posed it was true about you an' the deacon, an' 't, so help her Heaven, she never would 'a' believed's either o' you had so little sense. She said to tell you 't all she's got to say is 't if he deceives you like he's deceived her, you'll know how it feels to have him deceive you 's well 's she