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instinctive avoidance of this gentleman made his presence so distressing to me, that I thought I understood nothing, through the rushing in my head and the beating of my heart.
“I mentioned the subject to Lady Dedlock,” said Sir Leicester, rising, “and my Lady informed me that she had had the pleasure of exchanging a few words with Mr. Jarndyce and his wards, on the occasion of an accidental meeting during their sojourn in the vicinity. Permit me, Mr. Jarndyce, to repeat to yourself, and to these ladies, the assurance I have already tendered to Mr. Skimpole. Circumstances undoubtedly prevent my saying that it would afford me any gratification to hear that Mr. Boythorn had favored my house with his presence; but those circumstances are confined to that gentleman himself, and do not extend beyond him.”
“You know my old opinion of him,” said Mr. Skimpole, lightly appealing to us. “An amiable bull, who is determined to make every colour scarlet! ”
Sir Leicester Dedlock coughed, as if he could not possibly hear another word in reference to such an individual; and took his leave with great ceremony and politeness. I got to my own room with all possible speed, and remained there until I had recovered my self-command. It had been very much disturbed; but I was thankful to find, when I went downstairs again, that they only rallied me for having been shy and mute before the great Lincolnshire baronet.
By that time I had made up my mind that the period was come when I must tell my guardian what I knew. The possibility of my being brought into contact with my mother, of my being taken to her house,—even of Mr. Skimpole's, however distantly associated with me, receiving kindnesses and obligations from her husband,—was so painful, that I felt I could no longer guide myself without his assistance.
When we had retired for the night, and Ada and I had had our usual talk in our pretty room, I went out at my door again, and sought my guardian among his books. I knew he always read at that hour; and as I drew near, I saw the light shining out into the passage from his reading-lamp.
“May I come in, guardian?”
“Surely, little woman. What's the matter?”
“Nothing is the matter. I thought I would like to take this quiet time of saying a word to you about myself.”
He put a chair for me, shut his book, and put it by, and turned his kind attentive face towards me. I could not help observing that it wore that curious expression I had observed in it once before-on that night when he had said that he was in no trouble which I could readily understand.
“What concerns you, my dear Esther,” said he “concerns us all. You cannot be more ready to speak than I am to hear.”
“I know that, guardian. But I have such need of your advice and support. O! you don't know how much need I have to-night.”
He looked unprepared for my being so earnest, and even a little alarmed.
“Or how anxious I have been to speak to you,” said I, “ever since the visitor was here to-day.”