Fugitive Poetry. 1600–1878/The Clown and the Vicar

The Clown and the Vicar.

Hodge, a poor honest country lout,
Not over stocked with learning,
Chanced on a summer's eve, to meet
The Vicar home returning.

"Ah! Master Hodge," the Vicar cried,
"What, still as wise as ever?
The people in the village say
That you are wondrous clever."

"Why, Master Parson, as to that,
I beg you'll right conceive me,
I do na' brag, but yet I know
A thing or two, believe me."

"We'll try your skill," the parson cried,
"For learning what digestion;
And this you'll prove or right or wrong,
By solving me a question.

"Noah of old three babies had,
Or grown-up children, rather;
Shem, Ham, and Japhet, they were called.
Now, who was Japhet's father?"

"Rat it!" cried Hodge, and scratched his head,
"That does my wits belabour;
But howsome'er I'll homeward run,
And ask old Giles my neighbour."

To Giles he went, and put the case
With circumspect intention;
"Thou fool," cried Giles, "I'll make it clear
To thy dull comprehension.

"Three children has Tom Long, the smith,
Or cattle doctor, rather;
Tom, Dick, and Harry they are called,
Now, who is Harry's father?"

"Adzooks! I have it," Hodge replied,
"Right well I know your lingo,
Who's Harry's father? Stop—here goes—
Why, Tom Long Smith, by jingo!"

Away he ran to find the priest,
With all his might and main,
Who with good humour instant put
The question once again.

"Noah of old three babies had,
Or grown-up children, rather;
Shem, Ham, and Japhet, they were called,
Now, who was Japhet's father?"

"I have it now," Hodge grinning cried,
"I'll answer like a proctor;
Who's Japhet's fatter?—now I know—
Why, Tom Long Smith, the doctor."