Fugitive Poetry. 1600–1878/John Davidson
John Davidson.
John Davidson and Tib his wife,
Sat toastin' their taes ae nicht,
When something startit on the floor,
And blinkit by their sicht.
Sat toastin' their taes ae nicht,
When something startit on the floor,
And blinkit by their sicht.
"Guidwife," quoth John, "did ye see that moose?
Whar sorra was the cat?"
"A moose?"—"Ay, a moose."—"Na, na, guidman,
It wasna a moose, 'twas a rat."
Whar sorra was the cat?"
"A moose?"—"Ay, a moose."—"Na, na, guidman,
It wasna a moose, 'twas a rat."
"Oh, oh, guidwife, to think ye've been
So lang aboot the hoose,
An' no to ken a moose frae a rat!—
Yon wasna a rat! 'twas a moose!"
So lang aboot the hoose,
An' no to ken a moose frae a rat!—
Yon wasna a rat! 'twas a moose!"
"I've seen nrnir mice than you, guidman—
An' what think ye o' that?
Sae baud yer tongue an' say nae mair—
I tell ye it was a rat."
An' what think ye o' that?
Sae baud yer tongue an' say nae mair—
I tell ye it was a rat."
"Me baud my tongue for you, guidwife!
I'll be maister o' this hoose—
I saw't as plain as e'en could see,
An' I tell ye it was a moose."
I'll be maister o' this hoose—
I saw't as plain as e'en could see,
An' I tell ye it was a moose."
"If you're the maister o' the hoose,
It's I'm the mistress o't;
An' I ken best what's in the hoose—
Sae I tell ye it was a rat."
It's I'm the mistress o't;
An' I ken best what's in the hoose—
Sae I tell ye it was a rat."
"Weel, weel, guidwife, gae mak' the brose,
An' ca' it what ye please."
Sae up she rose and made the brose,
While John sat toastin' his taes.
An' ca' it what ye please."
Sae up she rose and made the brose,
While John sat toastin' his taes.
They suppit, and suppit, and suppit the brose,
And aye their lips played smack;
They suppit, and suppit, and suppit the brose,
Till their lugs began to crack.
And aye their lips played smack;
They suppit, and suppit, and suppit the brose,
Till their lugs began to crack.
"Sic fules we were to fa' out, guidwife,
About a moose."—"A what!
It's a lee ye tell, an' I say again
It wasna a moose, 'twas a rat."
About a moose."—"A what!
It's a lee ye tell, an' I say again
It wasna a moose, 'twas a rat."
" Wad ye ca' me a leear to my very face?
My faith, but ye craw croose!
I tell ye, Tib, I never will bear't—
'Twas a moose."—"'Twas a rat."—"'Twas a moose!"
My faith, but ye craw croose!
I tell ye, Tib, I never will bear't—
'Twas a moose."—"'Twas a rat."—"'Twas a moose!"
Wi' that she struck him ower the pow[1]—
"Ye dour[2] auld doit,[3] tak' that—
Gae to your bed, ye cankered sumph[4]—
'Twas a rat."—"'Twas a moose!"—"'Twas a rat!"
"Ye dour[2] auld doit,[3] tak' that—
Gae to your bed, ye cankered sumph[4]—
'Twas a rat."—"'Twas a moose!"—"'Twas a rat!"
She sent the brose-caup at his heels
As he hirpled[5] ben the hoose;
Yet he shoved out his head as he steekit[6] the d;or,
And cried, "'Twas a moose, 'twas a moose!"
As he hirpled[5] ben the hoose;
Yet he shoved out his head as he steekit[6] the d;or,
And cried, "'Twas a moose, 'twas a moose!"
But when the carle[7] fell asleep,
She paid him back for that,
And roared into his sleeping lug.[8]
"'Twas a rat, 'twas a rat, 'twas a rat!"
She paid him back for that,
And roared into his sleeping lug.[8]
"'Twas a rat, 'twas a rat, 'twas a rat!"
I am mista'en sair if I think
It was a beast at a'—
Next mornin', when she swept the floor,
She found wee Johnnie's ba'!
It was a beast at a'—
Next mornin', when she swept the floor,
She found wee Johnnie's ba'!