Fugitive Poetry. 1600–1878/Cold Water
Cold Water.
Some sing the peaceful pleasures of the plains,
While other bards invoke the groves and woods;
But I, enamoured of incessant rains,
Will make my theme cold water and the floods.
While other bards invoke the groves and woods;
But I, enamoured of incessant rains,
Will make my theme cold water and the floods.
Let others sit beneath the leafy shade,
While murmuring breezes softly float about;
But I in purling brooks delight to wade,
Or stand beneath some friendly water-spout.
While murmuring breezes softly float about;
But I in purling brooks delight to wade,
Or stand beneath some friendly water-spout.
'Tis sweet the nectar of the gods to quaff,
And very pleasant is the rosy wine;
Refreshing is the taste of "half-and-half,"
But of all drinks cold water shall be mine.
And very pleasant is the rosy wine;
Refreshing is the taste of "half-and-half,"
But of all drinks cold water shall be mine.
The verdant turf is grateful to the feet,
And some recline upon the mossy vale;
But smoothest lawns yield not so soft a seat
Ab that afforded by a well-filled pail
And some recline upon the mossy vale;
But smoothest lawns yield not so soft a seat
Ab that afforded by a well-filled pail
Before another century has fled,
Water! thy virtues none will dare deny;
Posterity will humbly bare its head,
When thou in rain descendest from the sky.
Water! thy virtues none will dare deny;
Posterity will humbly bare its head,
When thou in rain descendest from the sky.
The workman, when his daily labour's done—
Eager alike for luxury and rest—
Will to his water-butt impatient run,
The spigot turn—lie under—and be blest!
Eager alike for luxury and rest—
Will to his water-butt impatient run,
The spigot turn—lie under—and be blest!
No longer to the couch will idlers fly,
When the siesta they would fain invite;
But 'neath the pump will indolently lie
While lackeys work away with all their might,
When the siesta they would fain invite;
But 'neath the pump will indolently lie
While lackeys work away with all their might,
No more will builders try their utmost skill,
As now, to render houses waterproof;
But all their tiles in little holes they'll drill,
And make a shower-bath in every roof.
As now, to render houses waterproof;
But all their tiles in little holes they'll drill,
And make a shower-bath in every roof.
Economists will search in every street
For friendly water-spouts supplied with rain;
Where, gratis, they may with the luxury meet—
Ay, luxury!—of water on the brain.
For friendly water-spouts supplied with rain;
Where, gratis, they may with the luxury meet—
Ay, luxury!—of water on the brain.
No more shall watering-pots their blessings shed
Alone on vegetables, fruit, and flowers;
But man, reclining on a water-bed,
Shall be refreshed by gently falling showers.
Alone on vegetables, fruit, and flowers;
But man, reclining on a water-bed,
Shall be refreshed by gently falling showers.
Umbrellas, also, will be only known
By specimens in old museums seen,
Which, as barbaric relics, will be shown
Of customs curious that once had been.
By specimens in old museums seen,
Which, as barbaric relics, will be shown
Of customs curious that once had been.
And when 'tis read in history's faithful page,
That pickpockets were pumped on, now and then,
Our children will despise a foolish age,
That so much honoured such unworthy men.
That pickpockets were pumped on, now and then,
Our children will despise a foolish age,
That so much honoured such unworthy men.
Then hail! all hail! to hydropathic skill,
Upon whose principles it stands confessed,
That he who cisterns vast will freely swill,
May dropsy cure—or water on the chest.
Upon whose principles it stands confessed,
That he who cisterns vast will freely swill,
May dropsy cure—or water on the chest.
For nauseous drugs no use there soon will be;
For salts, magnesia, senna, no pretence;
Dispensing chemists, all men will agree
To view as things with which they can dispense.
For salts, magnesia, senna, no pretence;
Dispensing chemists, all men will agree
To view as things with which they can dispense.
Physic to agriculture they'll apply,
And write prescriptions for a sickly crop;
With fever mixtures, when the land's too dry,
Inflammatory action they will stop.
And write prescriptions for a sickly crop;
With fever mixtures, when the land's too dry,
Inflammatory action they will stop.
In every farm, so modern savants say,
A chemist will be always needed near;
For, if the corn unhealthiness display,
He'll dose it for diseases of the ear.
A chemist will be always needed near;
For, if the corn unhealthiness display,
He'll dose it for diseases of the ear.