A Houyhnhnm's Scrapbook/Number 1/The Yahoo Candidate

I suffer from a malady
Hnea-yahoo
Which very often troubles me
Hnea-yahoo.
It will not puzzle you, of course—
I simply do not like the horse.

I am against all kinds of sin
Hnea-yahoo
At least until I’m voted in
Hnea-yahoo.
If Houyhnhnms don’t know what I mean
Just say that it’s the “old routine.”

War is something I abhor
Hnea-yahoo.
Peace I love and will fight for
Hnea-yahoo.
Just cast your vote in my behalf—
And don’t give me that Houyhnhnm laugh!

Throw out that hoss—that meadow pink!
Hnea-yahoo
Who winnies his subversive, “Think!”
Hnea-yahoo.
Thinking is materialistic
And proves the ass is houyhnhnmistic.

Houyhnhnmism shall not whip us!
Hnea-yahoo,
I’m gonna ban the Eohippus!
Hnea-yahoo.
I'm gonna ban all that I can,
Except I’ll never ban the ban,
Except I’ll never ban the ban
Hnea-yahoo!