A Houyhnhnm's Scrapbook/Number 1/Revision

I think that Agamemnon slipped
On soap, poor fellow, frazzled weak
By (euphemistic) kisses lipped
On wild Cassandra. She, in pique
At all the hours she’d had to wait,
Nervously nibbled, bolted, swallowed,
Till past relief she overate,
And so straightway to Hades followed.
(Sensation-mongering Attic hacks
Supplied some color to the facts.)

I’m sure your hippy Clytemnestra
Liked sleeping solo, but at last
Wedded her most persistent pesterer
To stop remarks the neighbors passed.
Electra, one plain bloody bore,
Took soda-tablets, birdwatched, carried
Baskets of goodies for the poor;
Orestes got a job and married.
(Aegisthus, bald in pin-stripe suit,
Lived long, a lovable old coot.)